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Cycle 2 Day 17 - 19

2012-01-28T18:09:00.001+01:00

Today is Day 19 - 2 more days to completion of our 21 days cycle :D

All's been well thus far :) Now the only thing left would be Pavel's tooth...

On Thursday he went to the dentist and go a X-ray done on his bottom front tooth, as it was painful...apparently there's more to it...dentist told him to come in on next Tue morning, 7am...there's something inside his tooth, so she needs to open it, clean it, leave it open for awhile and than fill it.

I have no idea exactly what is wrong, Pavel just listen and said ok...so he didn't really ask any Qs as it doesn't occur to him...I'm the one usually asking all the Qs..but than again when it's me, I don't ask the Qs...weird I know...

So do pray that everything will be well and I do highly suspect the bruise on Pavel's arm along the vein is caused by extravasation... -_- chemo nurses must be thoroughly trained to avoid all these unecessary complications. It's good that his WBC are not too low, Neulasta definitely helped, so it should recover fine :)

I really thank God that Pavel has only a few really bad days, some guys had it real rough even after their first week of the first cycle!

And this is an awesome place for info and support on TC - www.tc-cancer.com
They have the best forum for TC! =) And people are really nice too ;)

We made a special thank you video for all of you who have been supporting us :) I'll need to edit it later and will post it up =)

Life's awesome with God in it and definitely with wonderful people like you! :D

the wonders of nature :)

BEP Regimen

2012-01-27T14:01:00.000+01:00

Bleomycin, Etoposide & Cisplatin Regimen

Short overview on the drugs.

Bleomycin
- anti-tumor antibiotics
- destroys the DNA
- Major side effect: Affects the skin (hyperpigmentation) & lungs due to low ability to degrade it. About 10% of people suffer from lung toxicity

Etoposide
- acts by inhibiting topoisomerase (an enzyme that assist in cell duplication)
- Major side effect: Decrease in white blood cell: lowest point on Day 10 - Day 14. Recovers within 3 weeks.

Cisplatin
- platinum based drug
- disrupts the DNA of the cell and inhibits it from replicating
- Major side effect: kidney toxicity

General Side Effects of BEP:
Nausea & vomiting - ensure you take the anti-emetics prescribed & drink loads of fluid

Fever & chills - especially after Blemoycin is given. Apart from that, do let your doctor know about it. Paracetamol can be taken in this case. Ensure proper rest after taking bleomycin, not even short walks even if you feel fine, it will just quicken the side effect of it. Keep warm and drink loads of fluids.

Fatigue - as treatment progresses, this may just get worst. Get plenty of rest and have short walks. Short walks will help. Pavel had it during his Day 6 - 9, after that it was not too bad. Walks helped him a lot.

Weight gain - increase in appetite due to dexamethasone (steroid) and also tendency to munch. Increase intake of fiber and have low calorie snacks to munch on.

Weight loss - make sure you have adequate food intake. And maximize your calories, especially if you don't have any appetite to eat. Pavel's losing weight even though he's eating a lot!

Sore mouth - ensure good oral hygiene. Brush gently after each meal with a soft toothbrush and rinse with salt water.

Hair loss - 3 to 4 weeks into the treatment during Cycle 1. And may be completely lost. Good news! It's just temporary =) it will grow back after treatment. Pavel started losing his hair on Day 17.

Constipation - due to the anti-emetics. Ensure lots of fluid intake and fiber (physillum husk is good). I make sure Pavel have his bowel movements daily, so that all the toxic waste is removed. So I give him lots of cooked veggies, oats, yogurt, physillum. No problem with it now :)

Diarrhea - make sure adequate fluid intake to replenish the body. If it's more than 2 days, do consult your doctor. And do replenish with oral rehydrating salts.

Sore eyes - may be dry, become reddish, discomfort. Artificial tears may help.

Bone aches - try a hot bath and always keep yourself warm. Ibuprofen is good for bone aches. To have a good sleep, take ibuprofen and a sedative. Pavel had a night or two with terrible bone aches and body aches, after the ibuprofen and sedative, he managed to sleep. Please consult with your doctor first.

I have covered in brief since Pavel only had 2 cycles of BEP, the side effects aren't too bad. Now we're in Cycle 2 Day 18 and he's doing good :)

Usual side effects are tires out quickly and muscle ache, we are now SLOWLY building up his body again. Simple exercises such as walking and supplements.

I do believe in taking supplements but not on a daily basis. Supplements should be like your food intake, you don't eat the same veggie everyday, so why take a supplement everyday? It's just my rational ;D

Calcium and Magnesium have shown to aid the body. So I did give Pavel these two supplements off and on.

There's quite a lot of reading to do on it when you want to optimize chemo treatment with supplements...because there are thoughts that it will aid the cancer cells thus bringing more harm than good...so if you need some advise I can shed some light onto it and it would be best to consult your oncologist still :)

I think the best is taking in RDA amounts and follow the food concept = you don't eat the same type of food everyday, so don't take the same supplements everyday. NOTE that it's a SUPPLEMENT, so please don't spend tonnes of money on it. You don't need to spend your whole lifesavings to save someone's life, we just need to be smart about it and not get sweep up by commercials/sweet talk.

References:-
http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Chemotherapy.htm
http://www.cancernet.co.uk/chem-bep.htm
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Chemotherapy/Combinationregimen/BEP.aspx
http://www.tc-cancer.com/pdf/tc-chemo.pdf

Cycle 2 Day 16 - pancakes and triops!

2012-01-27T13:04:00.002+01:00

Wednesday

We made pancakes for dinner! :D

Was a good recipe too =) I used wholemeal flour and buckwheat flour for it :)ps feel free to ask for the recipe ;) too lazy to type it out now

My 1st birthday present! :D The triops have hatched! :D It takes about 48 hours for this tiny little creatures to hatch..and now you can see that little speck of light brownish color near the marimo ball :D So cute! :D

It's really fun to watch them swimming around :)

My tank setup is complete :D

We hope to breed them and sell the eggs :D These are really fun pets to have! :)

So what are they?
They're basically small little fresh water crustaceans that have been around for about 300 million years! Basically a living fossil ;D

They are also known as tadpole shrimp :) Kinda look like a horseshoe crab ;)

The full name of my species = Triops cancriformis

They grow up to about 6cm in captivity but in the wild they would reach 11cm, not so small after all :)

You can witness the whole life cycle as they usually live about 30 - 40 days and before they die they would lay dozens of eggs first.

Adult version

So I'll be posting the progress of my little triops as they grow bigger! :D Here's a video on them :)

I'm writing less about Pavel's case now because he's getting better! So not much to write on apart from the usual tiredness and aches....oh and I think the chemo leaked during the infusion because on his left arm there's a darker streak along his vein..and it's painful to touch now...would need to look it up

Cycle 2 Day 15 CNY dinner!

2012-01-26T13:27:00.001+01:00

Day 15 - Chinese New Year dinner! :D

Pavel gave me a surprise dinner idea for CNY!~ He told me on Sunday about it and wanted to surprise the whole setup for me but he needed help with the soup and he has work to do...while now I have all the time in the world ;)

Nonetheless he's such a gem! :D

The whole setup

Relatively simple as we don't have Chinatown in Czech!
One of the few countries who doesn't have it

This colorful veggie noodles are yummy! :)

champagne of course!

bubbly drinks

Our new rice cooker. We got it as our Christmas present...kinda ironic
cause both of us don't take rice..but it's perfect for steamboat! :D

Desserts to complete the night!

The soup turned out to be really yummy! :D Boiled for about 3 hours with chicken meat and bones, carrots, onions, garlics and chinese herbs :) So happen to still have a packet of Emperor's Chicken herbs lying around ;)

Both parents enjoyed the food too :) We had crabsticks, mushrooms, peking cabbage, pork's heart, prawns, tortelini (since there's no meatballs), smoked salmon, noodles and eggs...nothing like back home though ;)

Tatko (Dad in Czech) called the neighbours and greeted them happy chinese new year and teased them to come over. They said no but turned up later and wanted to try :) We kept everything already and was suppose to have it for the next day's lunch, as the soup is now super yummy! But they're nice so we gave it to them ;) They really enjoyed it :) Both husband and wife travels quite a fair bit so they're a bit more adventurous than the average Czech ;)

Cycle 2: Day 14

2012-01-24T22:34:00.001+01:00

Day 14 (monday)

Today is his last round of bleo! :D

All chemo drugs are finally over! :D
Today is also the first day of Chinese New Year :)

I kinda miss the buzz of Chinese New Year...first time in my 26 years of life that I'm not busy for CNY..there's a lot of first things in life this season ;)
And for that my amazing darling suggested yesterday that we can celebrate our own Chinese New Year! :D We will make steamboat :)
What a gem eh?! He actually wanted to give me a real surprise with the whole thing but than again I have the extra time since I'm not working and he is :)

well after the infusion we went and did a blood test as well cause Pavel needs to go to the dentist..blood result was out in mere 10mins :D
And his results are looking good! =D

Blood test:
Before Cycle 1 - Leucocyte 5.0; Erythrocytes 5.39; hemoglobin 145; thrombocytes 210
After Cycle 1 - Leu 5.6; Ery 5.14; Hb 137; Tr 180
After near completion of Cycle 2 (taken on Day 14) - Leu 4.9; Ery 4.9; Hb 139; Tr 193

So he's cleared to get his tooth out :)

Oh today was awesome cause we went to a really nice fish shop!! Both of us have turned fish fanatics..well not nearly there yet at least..now just looking up and studying :) Our new hobby since back in KL is in fishies and this summer we are gonna start fly-fishing!! so cool =D

This fish shop that we went to is really nice! :D Pavel bought me a marimo ball, drift wood & white sand! These are for my triops bowl! :D It's now waiting to hatch!! More about triops later on ;D

This is the current setup for now...just waiting for it to hatch and than place my driftwood and shells in it :D

Oh we had to rush home from the fish shop cause the side effects came earlier than predicted...usually it hits around 4-5pm but this time just 1 hour after the infusion it kicked in...it's due to the walk, as we were walking outside..so I guess things kicked up faster..

It's quite funny actually...Pavel forgot his beanie so he was wearing mine...it's a good thing it's white but it's knitted type :D so in the car, he's driving with heater full blast, beanie on his head and he was still chattering!! Poor guy XD
His front tooth was painful due to the chatter..so I gave him a packet of tissue to bite on...

Cycle 2 Day 11 - 13

2012-01-22T23:55:00.001+01:00

Day 11

Traveling day! :)
Pavel had a meeting in another town called Plzen, so we left in the morning about 7.
Was still in consideration the night before as he wasn't feeling so well and there's a problem with his tooth. We think that he needs an extraction, so we would have to talk to our onco and see how things are.

It was an interesting day indeed! We took the train to Prague from Zabreh, about 2 hours. And Prague to Plzen about 1 and a half hours. Our journey from Prague to Plzen took us about 4 hours instead...a suicide occured...

Well apart from that, all went well :)

We stayed a night in Prague at a friend's place and it was a good time chatting up with Pavel's old uni mates :)

Day 12

Time to head back home :)

Pavel's tooth is still aching and while coming down from the train, he knocked his tooth. And it was really really painful for him...he was literally shaking from the pain. Popped in ibuprofen but it didn't help and he wanted to pop in more...I told him that we need to go to the pharmacy instead, to get something stronger...cause I could see it from his face that it was really bad.

The pharmacist recommended him naproxen, so we got that and he popped it in. The water helped as it cooled the tooth down as well. Naproxen works really well for him, so it's good. =)

We had a good journey back home and discussed about our future plans and ideas for business :)

oooo and I already have lots of nice presents from my darling! Birthday presents! :D

Day 13

Pavel's quite tired today from the traveling. He gets tired quite easily...so he's already fast asleep now as I type this :) It is good that he is sleeping and able to sleep. Had a bit of a temperature but now he's alright =)

He's drinking lots of fluids and it is helping him to recover.

I was doing some research on BEP regimen and optimizing his treatment with additional supplements. So far 'there's nothing concrete out there...and not much research has been done too. One day, I do hope to fund ongoing researches on complimentary and intergrative medicine. I do believe in chinese medicines, simply because it works and a lot of research by the chinese have been done. I think there is hope in it. =)

Tomorrow is our last day with bleomycin :) Just another 8 more days to complete!

Sucide = Selfish

2012-01-22T23:54:00.000+01:00

Our not so close encounter with a sucide...

We were sitting in the train and all of a sudden the train stopped...in the middle of nowhere...
1st news: we don't know what happened, wait for the report.
2nd news: an accident occured.
3rd news: an asshole jumped out of a bridge into our train, on a sunny blue sky day...committed suicide.
4th news: we have to wait for the police and can't go anywhere.
5th news: it was a lady...she just walked onto the rails and sat down...waiting for the train to end her life.

One of the most unfortunate thing: our train driver got a shocked, it was his first time driving the train...with an experience driver sitting beside him to guide him...he couldn't drive the train after that...

How sad and inconsiderate the lady was...infact I may even say selfish!
Sad because she thinks that ending her life would end the misery...wait till she gets over the other side...
Inconsiderate and selfish because she didn't think about everyone else in the train and all the other people in the train station...everyone got delayed just because she felt like dying...not only delayed...but imagine if someone was delayed for a funeral of a loved one...or rushing back to see their dying parents...or a dad hurrying back to see his son's graduation...what about all these people? Who would sympathize for them? I am not heartless but SOME people think that the world revolves around them...that it's all about them...and when things don't go their way, life is not worth living anymore...

it is really time to grow up...

Sad because they didn't know any better...They didn't know that there are people who cares...

A fact: in this whole world, everyone of you....there's always somebody thinking about you...and there is at least one person who cares about you...

Cycle 2 Day 9 & Day 10

2012-01-19T22:45:00.001+01:00

Day 9

All is well except for extremities in taste bud!
Pavel can't take anything that is bitter (even the tinniest bit) & spicy...

I actually made veggie burger today, so much effort and he found in bitter -_-
It really tasted pretty good :D wrapped with egg and cheese~ it was more of a nutty flavor and he found it bitter... so I basically was the one who enjoyed it though it was meant for him. Oh well...gotta find something else...so far these past few times I've cooked, it's all too spicy for him. His taste buds went from mild, serious to worst. So kinda hard for me to gauge.

Now it's nothing nutty/seedy/peppery/spicy. Not even slight!

He drank wine and he said it was too spicy for him XD

Maybe after this, no more alcohol?

And now he wants his food to be saltier and sweeter -_- which is exactly what he is suppose to cut down on...tough tough...

And over production of saliva...haven't figure out why yet..

Day 10

Today a mild temperature and headache, some rest and paracetamol did the work :)

Oh and forget about no alcohol part, cause today I made Mojito and he drank some of it...
Me: It's not bitter?
Pavel: Just a bit..

Boils down to preference eh? :p

I decided to bake scones today! Blueberry scones! :D I found some frozen berries in the freezer, in the celler. So blueberry day it is! Always wanted to bake something with blueberries but it was too blooming expensive to buy'em!!

in the oven :)

filled with loads of blueberries!!

lemon glaze to add a tangy twist!~

well it didn't turn out exactly how I wanted a scone to be...cause I substitute the flour with buckwheat flour...I needed it to be healthier for Pavel XD nonetheless it's still really yummy! And Pavel likes it too! At last he likes something I've made so far, since he started chemo.

So I've decided to call it Cookie-ish Blueberry Scone :)

Cycle 2 Day 8

2012-01-17T14:29:00.001+01:00

Day 8

Yesterday we went for the bleomycin jab but instead an infusion was given. Pavel was not mentally prepared for another infusion, so he was pretty much stressed out by it. XD Poor baby. He was literally sweating from his forehead and you could see beads of sweats forming, it's quite funny though. Seeing him so stressed up by a tiny little needle :p
He had some bad experience when he was a little boy, he was quite sick and he was stuck in the hospital for a month and they had to take his blood samples everyday. To make it worst, he was alone there most of the time, as both his parents were working...so that's when it all started, this 'phobia'

Oh his dad has the same issue with needles too XD

The infusion is actually not so bad but a canula needs to be inserted in and it takes 15mins, whereby a jab just takes a couple of seconds. However the good thing about the infusion is that his butt won't be painful for 2 weeks, like his last jab. So after all the infusion is much better =)

In the evening, all of a sudden he had like severe chills, he was pretty much shaking and his teeth couldn't stop chattering!! Quite a funny sight thinking about it hehehe he couldn't really talk as a result of that. But thank God it was only about 10mins than it was ok.

Gave him paracetamol 2 tabs and covered him with 2 blankets!~ Oh and a cup of hot fruit tea too =)

Apart from being tired and still a bit sensitive to touch, all is well! =)

Just one more of bleo next Monday and we're done with the drugs! :D

Cycle 2 Day 5, 6 & 7

2012-01-15T21:40:00.001+01:00

Day 5

Our last day of long hours in the hospital!! =D Nurses and our doc has been great :) And we ended Day 5 with a crazy winter weather...

Firstly it was like a mini snow storm

And than it was blue skies with just a slight hint of snow on the ground

Snow and clear skies and more snow and blue skies again...erratic weather I would say~

Sometimes life can be as crazy as the weather or even worse
Unpredictable
Undesirable
Incomprehensible
but hey the blue skies will always come out again
no matter how bad the weather was :)
and with God in the picture
having written in scripture
peace will bring you through

Metallic tastebuds have become the most apparent today...banana, Pavel's favorite does help :) or just eating something. Chewing gum helps too but he left it in the room instead.

His arm where the infusion takes place has become really sensitive and pain to touch. Fragile and brittle is his label lately. So gotta be extra careful, which I always tend to forget haha cause you gotta be really really gentle with him now XD

oh hyperpigmentations has also occurred on his back due to bleomycin but it should disappear when we're done with it :)

Day 6

Pavel needs his rest as his mind can't focus on anything really except watching Star Gate! haha his favorite :) so we watched Star Gate the whole day! and slept early =)

His bones are also slight achy at night as today I jabbed him with the Neulasta to boost the production of white blood cells. He demanded that I get everything ready first so that he can just lie and I jab him straight. haha cause last time, I spent like 10mins making sure I got everything right and he was soooo stressed by it. His forehead was like dripping with sweat! :D Poor baby! A giant baby no doubt! ;D

I've asked him to take 2 tabs of paracetamol prior to the jab to prevent any temperatures and body aches cause the last time was quite bad..so this time round it was just slight :)

Day 7

Whole body is sensitive to touch especially his stomach can get really fragile and nauseous all of a sudden. Oh and his teeth too even a slight touch hurts. His throat has become dry these past few days, so gotta ensure that lots of fluids is consumed, which he does. So it's good :)

Good hygiene has been practiced prior to starting chemo, which is really important as you don't want to risk any infection especially when the immunity is down. So I did drill him for the first few days to always watch his hands before touching any food and after the toilet.
And no sick people around definitely! =)

Today he had some strength after a nap in the noon, so we went out and made our first snowman! :D Just a mini one though :) All too excited going out and that he's feeling better, I forgot the camera~ XD

Picture below was taken by Pavel in Jan 2010 when he was still staying in Prague and me in KL. So much have changed since than :)

It's not time that changes things but what we do with the time

statute of liberty

2012-01-14T21:55:00.000+01:00

One of the things that we did during our :) I found this toy up in the attic. It belongs to Pavel. His sister gave it to him but he didn't manage to solve it. So since I'm all too free, I decided to fix it =)

After a good few LOOOONNNGGGG hours (more than 24hours) and Pavel helped me out at the end, it is finished!! =D
It's not exactly a perfect fit though, as some of the parts don't really fit in too well..it's just basically styrofoam which adds to the 3D effect and holds when you piece it together. Had to use tape to hold it properly, if not it wouldn't have hold up.It's a piece to be admired from a far ;)

And now it sits nicely in our room, until it gathers dust and into the bin it goes~ haha I used to be sentimental about things/objects...but I changed..decided that things are not really worth the sentiment...only some...only some.

I've learned that there's always a season for everything and when the season's gone...it's no use holding on to it anymore. The print that's left will always be in memory and when it's important enough, the memory will be retrieved. Of course this thought too may be changed, in time to come.

As I grow and learn along the way, I'll gain a better perspective some way ;)

The Statute of Liberty, whereby at one time it did mean something to the people...

Cycle 2 Day 4

2012-01-12T21:19:00.000+01:00

Today is DAY 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D
Tomorrow is DAY 5 = last day of chemo in the hospital!!! wheeeeee and only 2 more jabs of bleomycin left ;)

AND end of chemo!!! =D we're only doing 2 cycles =) Dr. Einhorn (TC specialist & Lance Armstrong's doctor) says 2 is enough!!! :D

Today is record time as well, I think Pavel is getting a hang of it =D Just 5 hours and we're done! =D

Although there's more metallic taste in his mouth today and he's feeling nauseous too..so I have to be excited for him ;D

So what do we do the whole in the hospital?

Sometimes we nap

Sometimes we watch movies

(ps we have our own room ;)

Sometimes we talk

and we dream

Sometimes we just look at each other

Sometimes we pray

Sometimes silence speaks the loudest

as we have each other to hold and cherish

forever :)

Oh and lots of time for me to catch up on my reading

thinking man - he likes to think =)

Too lazy to turn it...yup finished this book today =)

Oh and my poor darling today, apparently he was caughing for like 2 mins really hard and my chair was turned against him, which means I'm facing away...and I didn't turn to check on him...he felt so abandon
hehehe but it was because I was sleeping! I didn't even hear a thing! haha was too tired ;D

well well now time for my hot bath! as tomorrow is our last day! =D
UPDATE: hot bath with lemon grass oil - NICE :D now I'm all warm & ready for bed!~

thank you all of your amazing wonderful people that God has brought into our lives =) We truly appreciate it and love you people! xx

Cycle 2 Day 2 & 3: chubby shaolin monk!

2012-01-11T16:44:00.001+01:00

Day 2, Cycle 2

All went well :) and it was the longest infusion day thus far!
Normal saline & cisplatin were dripping all so slowly...the nurse didn't place the canula properly..so it was a real lag..

Didn't have any problems with the chemo but instead with manitol. Pavel's muscle aches if this one runs too fast. Ironic since usually people have probs with chemo instead. But still manageable =)

Pavel nowadays always use this: Be careful la, I'm fragile & brittle! :)
He comes up with the quirkiest statements sometimes ;D

Yesterday I was running through www.tc-cancer.com's forum, they have a really good forum support there :) and I was reading up on various cases and all. I got to know that Dr. Einhorn is the top leading oncologist in Testicular Cancer and he's the one who treated Lance Armstrong.
So I bounced him an email in regards to Pavel's case because I want to make sure that our decision of going for 2 cycles is sufficient.
And what a kind hearted soul, he replied me on the very same day! And said that 2 cycles is sufficient for him =D

Yay!! I was rather happy that now I have the top TC's specialist opinion on it :D He's been known to be really nice and replies EVERYONE's email!! Since TC is still relatively rare and specialist in this field are rare too. So nice of him :)

Day 3, Cycle 2

Today was the fastest infusion day thus far!
haha yesterday was the slowest and today the fastest! Today another nurse fixed the canula for him, and this one did a really nice job, no pain too. The first nurse didn't do it nicely for Pavel, she had to jab him twice for it! -_- Pavel doesn't like needles and jabs ;)
He faints, if he's not lying down! I got a real good real life joke for it..but can't tease him too much now =)

The side effects he has experienced so far for Cycle 2, Day 1- 3:
- body aches (mild & sensitive to touch)
- mild metallic taste (especially today, he said that he has iron mouth but just for awhile ;)
- salivating (so he has to take his anti-emetics to prevent anything else)

Oh and today he became a chubby shaolin monk! haha bloating of his face..just like the carton Avatar =D

Round & chubby! =D

Cycle 2 Day 1: My Army boy! =D

2012-01-09T21:46:00.002+01:00

Cycle 2 Day 1

Blood test result:
Before Cycle 1 - Leucocyte 5.0; Erythrocytes 5.39; hemoglobin 145; thrombocytes 210
After Cycle 1 - Leu 5.6; Ery 5.14; Hb 137; Tr 180

Current weight: 87 kg
Before Cycle 1: 90 kg

BSA: 2.09

Today we were once again the last patient to leave the chemo department (we're always the last anyway ;D since Pavel's the only one on BEP regime), all went well...except that Pavel saw a lady nearly collapsing cause she couldn't breathe, she was on her IV. SO that was something!
BUT most of all TODAY, my bottle of cream exploded onto my face and shirt! :D It was hilarious!! As the cream was splattered everywhere! Onto my face, my shirt....and I was just merely squeezing the bottle a bit and the whole plastic bottle just exploded!! It was a good laugh :D Even the nurses burst out laughing when they saw my face with the cream all over =D And my darling Pavel certainly couldn't stop laughing too ;)

Anyway the doc decided to change his bleomycin jab to today and made it into an infusion instead. I didn't know about it so I wasn't too happy with it. As Pavel tends to just merely rely on the doc, I for one likes to know everything! As I do not want any mistakes to occur. Anyhow he took the IV quite well for the bleomycin so it's ok.

His back has already hyperpigmentation due to the bleomycin, nothing serious...prior to this, his back's literally clean =)

Well here's it. Today I have my army boy! :D

Pavel: Don't punch me or I'll punk you!

We decided to do some funny stuff, so that I won't cry instead!
It just reminds me of the patients I've seen back in my hospital..

Sexy back!

Side view. Not too bad eh?
Would love your funny comments! :D To keep us happy and laughing ;D

Head gear on! Pirates!

Our story begins here

Rugged looking man :)

2012-01-06T19:23:00.001+01:00

Just finished cutting his hair :)

Since the hair salon was closed at 4pm, we couldn't make it in time. And Pavel really needed to cut because the hair was falling all too easily.

So I became the hair stylist! =D

Had a really nice pizza for dinner and off goes the hair!

His hair was pretty long already :) I gave him a rugged cut :D short on the sides
and decided to leave some top on. The hair doesn't fall out so easily now :)

I decided to leave him a tail! He doesn't even know it! hahaha
wait till he sees this :D Not too bad since it's my first time cutting someone's hair ;)

So the bald man will have to wait another day =) Now Pavel's the rugged looking man! :D

Day 17 - 19

2012-01-06T14:32:00.002+01:00

Today is Day 19 =) 3 more days and Cycle 1 finishes officially!

Day 17
Was his last bleomycin jab, odd because his left butt is still painful from last week's jab but his right butt which took the last jab doesn't hurt as much.
Thank God, this time round the bleomycin didn't affect him too much. Just some slight aches and tiredness. So paracetamol did the work for him. After 4hours since the jab, his eyes started to become dry, tired and red. You could also see the dark circles forming but nothing serious. =)

Pavel's not as energetic before the jab, so I suppose when Monday comes along, he should recover better. The bleomycin jab usually takes a toll on him for 2 - 3 days.

Blood test was also taken on Day 17.

His hair has also started to come off noticeably.

Day 18
Pavel's feeling much better compared to Day 17 just some mild aches which he already got accustomed and tiredness.

Blood test result was out, he phoned in and they say that he's all good to commence Cycle 2 next Monday =) I would need the detailed blood test result for my own record keeping.

oh and his hair is coming out even more!

We cooked spaghetti for lunch as Pavel loves eating them! :)

Pavel's special sauce! Includes celery, carrots & milk apart from the norm ;)

Day 19

Today is Day 19 =)

Pavel is doing well! Just tired that's all but he's good enough to be working on his projects, which he has been doing this past week :)

His head is extra sensitive to touch today and the hair is falling off rather easily...so we have decided to have him bald! His hair is everywhere, so it's much easier to cut it all off. Off to the hair salon later :)

He doesn't really mind going bald, he says it's gonna grow again later =) What a man!

As Cycle 1 nears the end, Pavel has been amazing! The courage he has and the ability to laugh it off, keeps things smiley =) He has never even ONCE complain about the entire ordeal! Yea we had our down moments but now we thank God that His grace is indeed sufficient for us. =)

And as for you guys, family & friends, you have been amazing in supporting us through this =D You definitely put a smile on our face with your care and concerns. Your encouragement really mean a lot to us and more so your prayers. We have felt your love even though we are miles away. You guys made our lives amazing =)

What can I say?

I'm not tough by my own strength

Nor am I tenacious to see it through

Holding up the fort and keeping things calm

It's not easy as 1,2,3

Gripping on to hope when all else glooms

Finding a reason to smile when my heart is breaking

Boy that was hard

Being optimistic and upbeat while seeing the pain and suffering

Took quite a toll for the bearing

But through it all

Through it all

He enables, His grace abounds

He became our wind under our wings

that we may soar high above the skies

Now I finally understood what it meant

His grace is always sufficient

I thank God for this amazing man in my life =)
Perhentian Island Oct 2011

i won't give up

2012-01-04T19:51:00.002+01:00

i find this song perfect for me to my darling =)

love the rhythm!

i have a liking for guitars - acoustics especially

life will not be taken by

life will be lived

~battling cancer & chemo TOGETHER~

Chemo Progress Day 11 - 16

2012-01-04T14:15:00.002+01:00

So far Pavel is doing great! :D
Praise God! ;)

Day 11 was much better than Day 10, as Day 10 was one of his worst day! Body aches, temperature, profuse sweating...oh only thing was that no nausea/vomiting ;)
His bones were painful at night of Day 10, so didn't get much sleep. I decided to give him ibuprofen and oxazepam, pretty handy with a pharmacist background ;D but of course I did my reading first prior to giving him the medication. Had already given him paracetamol earlier on but to no avail did it help soothe his bone aches. And I found out that ibuprofen is good for bone aches.

At last he managed to sleep =)

Day 11 he woke up feeling much better :) just a bit tired that's all. But at least not so much aching in his body. Much lesser compared to Day 10. So ibuprofen is still being taken.

Day 12 - 16: Feeling great!! No pills at all :)

I do suppose that eating well prior to chemo also helps a lot. And off and on, I do give him additional supplements to take. Nonetheless, I would need to read up more on supplements and chemotherapy, as some of it may just worsen the situation and it may help the cancerous cells instead. So for now, I stick with the safest one and go with RDA standards.

Today is Day 17! The last jab for Cycle 1 :) Blood test is done today and tomorrow we will get the results out and see whether Cycle 2 can be commence the next week :)
UPDATE: Day 17 hair fall noticeable!

The Epic Story begins...

Testicular Cancer

2012-01-03T10:19:00.000+01:00

Never have really heard of it, even when I was working in the oncology unit…
But when the lump appeared, I did some reading and one of the possibilities were Testicular Cancer (TC).

Here would be my concise information about TC with relevant links below for more info.
Click here to find out how cancer develops - simple & good animation :)

1. It is a really rare form of cancer - constitutes only 1 - 1.5% of all cancers in men. Which also means the chances of getting TC is like 1 in every 100,000 males. On the other hand, it has doubled in the past 30 over years.
Oh and you only need to be a little more concern if:-
- You're white (Asians:rare and Blacks: rarer)
- 15 - 44 years old are the usual targets
- Over 6ft tall
- Had prior problems with your testicles
- History of cancer in the family line

2. Good news! Very high cure rate no matter the extent of it, in particular to seminoma. 95% cure rate, some say it's even higher.

3. Can be categorized into 2 types: non - seminoma & seminoma

4. Seminoma is better than non-seminoma (Pavel had non-seminoma) as non-seminoma tends to be more aggresive

5. Testicular examination should be done monthly - HOW?

Diagnosis:

Biopsy is rarely done in this case, as the risk of spreading is quite high.

Ultrasound will be done to determine whether it is a tumor or infection, chest X-rays, CT scans will be done as well to ensure that no spread has taken place.

Blood test will be done to look up the tumor markers.

Note: Usually a lump in the testicles would dictate an infection (will usually come with the usual signs, like fever & constant pain)

Treatment:

Orchiectomy (or-ki-te-me), RPLND, Radiotherapy, Chemotherapy & Surveillance

For ochiectomy and RPLND please click on the link for more info.

Radiotherapy is mostly for seminoma and Stage I cases.
Chemotherapy is usually used for non-seminoma cases.
Surveillance is used when the risk of relapse is low, usually in Stage I cases.

Now in Europe, the option of RPLND is rare due to the fact that there are few expert surgeons on it. Thus the risk of complications are high.
And in Europe, oncologist are rather conservative and would mostly give adjuvant chemotherapy even in Stage 1 cases (which are considered low risk by a few experts, refer to links). Oncologist here in Czech Republic follows the European Cancer guidelines which states that for any non-seminoma Stage 1 cases, adjuvant chemotherapy is given.
This is due to the fact that, they believe that the risk of relapse is high and especially since the tumor markers before the op was high.
Although I have consulted with a prof based in UK's Cancer Research Institute, which specializes in TC: any Stage 1 is considered as low risk and surveillance is an acceptable option.

So there are 2 schools of thought, surveillance or adjuvant chemotherapy for Stage 1 case. Bearing in mind, that generally 70% of Stage 1 non-seminoma and 80% of Stage of seminoma is cured by the op alone.

Adjuvant chemotherapy: BEP regimen - very good prognosis = high cure rate :)
NOTE: BEP regimen article to be written soon
If chemo were to be given than sperm banking would be highly useful - you never know.
Wait for post on Sperm Banking ;)

Surveillance: copied from link

Year 1: Tumor Markers and Chest X-ray done every month
Abdominal CT scan done every 2 months
Year 2: Tumor Markers and Chest X-ray done every 2 months
Abdominal CT scan done every 4 months
Years 3-5: Tumor Markers and Chest X-ray done every 6 months
Abdominal CT scan done every 6 months
After Year 5: Tumor Markers and Chest X-ray done once a year

Up to date, there's still no particular cause of why TC occurs, a part from having particular problems/issues with the testicles. TC cases are on the rise, and it would be imperative to find out the causes of it.

One thing is definite, have a balanced healthy lifestyle! =) Enjoy your life each day, take time to laugh and love. Life is sometimes all too short and things have a knack of coming in unexpected.

References/Links for more info
http://www.uroweb.org/gls/pockets/english/Testicular%2520Cancer.pdf
http://www.meds.com/pdq/testicular_pro.html
http://www.tc-cancer.com
http://tcrc.acor.org
http://info.cancerresearchuk.org/cancerstats/types/testis/incidence/#In5
http://www.bupa.co.uk/individuals/health-information/directory/t/testicular-cancer

Our story with TC

2011 what a year!

2011-12-31T20:55:00.003+01:00

so today's the last day of 2011
what a year it has been!
a superb wedding and an awesome husband
and a foreign land to call home
not forgetting the current battle against cancer and chemo
and the glimpse of reality of losing the love of my life
when life of togetherness has barely even begun!
what a year it has been!
to live in His constant grace and mercy
having His peace carrying us through
having felt the love and kindness
from family and friends all over the world =)
what a year it has been!

what a blessing to be able to hold on to faith and hope
to know that there's always Someone greater by my side
to be able to have people that I can count on and rally support
oh what a year it has been!

what a blessed life I have
to be able to cherish my one true love
to hold him and love him
to know that we are always in it together
the ups and downs will only bond us stronger
oh what a year it has been!

how amazing it is to live and taste the wonders of the world
the wonders of life itself
to come across so many wonderful people
to have them in my life
friends to cherish a lifetime
oh what a blessed life I have!

What a year 2011
What a year it has been... =)

The man of my life =)

Orchiectomy

2011-12-31T13:18:00.002+01:00

Orchiectomy (or-ki-te-me)

Surgical removal of the testicle.

Courtesy of e-medicine. It's not Pavel's :D

It just takes about an hour to complete the operation whereby general anesthesia is usually given. You don't want to be awake when your testicle is being removed!

Preparation before the op:
1. Marked with a marker to indicate which ball is to be removed. You don't want to cut the wrong one.

2. Shaving. You will never feel so bald after this. Since usually whites are affected with this problem. The entire groin area and up till your upper legs are shaved off.

The OP:
About 4-inches of incision is made along the bikini line (no, the ball doesn't get cut off from the bottom) and the testicle along with the cord is pulled out and cut. The incision is than stitched back. So a scar is formed without being seen even if you wear speedos. ;)

It still looks pretty normal even with one testicle, so guys don't worry too much about it. =)

Sexual libido may decrease but not to worry, all will still function well. And sperm count is not a problem. So nothing to fret about fertility. =)

More info:
http://www.webmd.com/cancer/radical-inguinal-orchiectomy-for-testicular-cancer
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/449033-overview

Testicular Self Examination

2011-12-30T08:41:00.000+01:00

Get to know'em!
Best done during or after a shower/bath. As the skin of the scrotum is much more relaxed, making it much easier to feel for anything unusual. Oh and provided it's a hot shower/bath, heat is the one that relaxes the scrotum.

Check one testicle at a time
1. Weigh it and see if it's heavier than normal
2. Roll it between your fingers to feel for any lumps/hardness/anything unusual

Testicular Self Examination should be done monthly

Symptoms:-
- Changes in size/color
- Swelling
- Any aches or pains in the groin area
- Lumps may be pea-sized or even as small as a rice

Note: there's a bump (soft, tube-structure) on the upper or middle outer part of the testis, it's known as epididymis - it's normal. The epididymis collects and carries the sperm.

Usually the right testicle is larger than the other one, this is normal.

If lumps are found, it may not be cancer, just check with your doctor as soon as possible. As testicular cancer have a very high cure rate when caught on early.

Note: If the doctor diagnose as an infection and you didn't have any signs of infection (fever, constant pain) ask the doctor to do an ultrasound. Due to it's rarity doctors usually doubt it's testicular cancer.
I made a wrong choice following the doctor's diagnosis and took the antibiotics for Pavel, knowingly that he didn't have any signs of infection and the symptoms were for testicular cancer instead.

References:-
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003909.htm
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/tse.html
http://tcrc.acor.org/tcexam.html

Our story starts here

Day 10 and 11 more days to go

2011-12-28T20:44:00.001+01:00

Today is Day 10 and the 2nd jab of bleomycin is taken.

Jab was rather painful as the nurse pushed in too fast, when the medication goes in slower, the pain is much lesser or virtually none at all.

Pavel was down with chills followed by fever and heavy sweating, it's just the side effect of bleomycin. So I gave him paracetamol 1g for the fever and after about an hour and half of sleep, he's all good again. :)

I'll probably list down on another post in regards to medications to counter the side effects of chemotherapy and supplements that you can take. =)

Day 7 - 9 was good, just some mild diarrhea, so we need to ensure that's there's adequate fluid intake. Bare minimum would be 2.5L a day.

11 more days to complete Cycle 1, 21 days to a cycle. And after that Cycle 2 will commence. Usually the next Cycle would take a heavier toll on the body due to the previous Cycle.

Pavel's hair is still intact :D

Only drug that might cause hair loss would be etoposide and it's usually just mild anyway :)

The Epic Story begins...

Cycle 1 in the hospital

2011-12-27T23:22:00.000+01:00

Day 1 - 5 was spent in the hospital having his chemo infusions..it was rather tiring for the both of us..as we were up by 6am and than spending an average of 6 hours in the hospital.

BUT it was all pretty good =)

Our oncologist was a pretty nice guy and we had an angel nurse (as Pavel calls her) taking care of Pavel. =) She has a really sweet smile and a pleasant face all the time. The nurse patiently takes care of Pavel's every need. Since he had to go and pee pretty often! So the nurse had to come into our room, stop the infusion and fix it back later again.

Throughout the whole 5 days, there were no complications. Thank God! :) And Pavel was much calmer after the first day, since he thought that it would be bad.

It's good that I've got some background in the medical line, as our oncologist was thinking of giving us at least 3 cycles of BEP! And I was only thinking about 1 due to my research and consultation. Anyhow, now our oncologist will be considering 2 cycles =) as he will now proceed to do more reading up. As we talked to him on various issues & gently triggered him to do more reading up. ;)
Sometimes you have to play your cards well to win at all sides :)

First day he was lying on the bed...second day I was sleeping on it :)

Our view from the room :) It snowed a fair bit thus granting Pavel's wish of a white Christmas

For those of you who have yet to know about it, this is where it all started:-
The Epic Story begins...

Christmas in Czech! :D

2011-12-25T16:36:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was Day 6 of chemo and it's also Christmas in Czech :)

Pavel is just getting a bit more tired than usual as he woke up like 1am couldn't sleep till 6am..it happened again this morning. So I'm trying to figure out what's the cause of it...

Anyway in Czech, Christmas is celebrated on the 24th December instead and we have fish fillet instead of turkey. You're not suppose to eat any meat except fish because if you eat meat, you won't be able to see the golden pig. Which is suppose to bring you good fortune in the year to come.

We had a nice little dinner, just the two of us and the parents =) Mum cooked really nice orange cabbage soup for lunch and than dinner starts off with the tradition =)

1. Everyone needs to dress up (suits are a norm but this year since it's just us, Dad decided to drop the suit and go for a sporty look...but he was over sporty and Mum sent him back up to change XD

2. All gather around the dinner table, Dad starts his speech for good health and explains:-
A knife is used to draw 4 crosses on the loaf of bread
And a slice of bread is cut and shared with everyone on the table
A clove of raw garlic each

3. After everyone has their slice of bread, with the other hand holding the garlic...you eat the raw garlic with bread it's suppose to make the soup taste better after that but the first time I ate it this way, I felt sick...haha So this time around, I just chew the garlic once and swallow it with the bread ;D

4. Fish Soup is served =D

5. And you have to wait for everyone to finish their soup before you can go for the next dish. Even if the person takes 5 times, you still have to wait! Pavel was kind enough to just take twice!

6. Fish fillet with potato salad

That's all for Christmas dinner. Fairly simple compared to the Brits and Americans...I think I like the turkey better haha

Than it's time for presents!! :D In Czech there's no Stanta Clause but instead ježíšek (ye-she-shack) aka baby Jesus which brings the present. A bell is rang and than the presents would appear!
In the Bednář family, the appointed ježíšek will wear the santa red cap and pass the presents one by one to each family member. You actually have to wait for one person to open up the present before the other person is allowed to get theirs.

We all had a good time tearing up the wrappers :) and we both got really nice gifts :)

My best gift of all - Pavel Bedář, my sweetheart :)

Wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas!!!

Our story begins here...

Day 5 Chemo, Cycle 1 + a bloody affair

2011-12-23T18:26:00.002+01:00

Today is the LAST day of Cycle 1! =D
Well apart from 3 more jabs of Bleomycin, 1 jab/week, to officially complete it.

All is well! No side effects, no complication =)

This morning while on our way to the hospital, we saw 3 deers running in the snowy white field, stopping in search for food. Such a beautiful sight! =)

Just reminded us that in life there's so much to be thankful for, despite the circumstances, you can always find something to be thankful for. :)

Life is beautiful and filled with all the wonderful people that surrounds us.
Pavel is feeling happy, knowing that he is not alone in this. For all of you that have supported us through your kind words and prayers, thank you so much once again. It certainly does make us feel good and happy. =)

Oh and today's bloody affair...you have to wait for the video to be done ;) will try to do it today or tomorrow...both of us are pretty tired

UPDATED: 27th Dec. video is at last ready :D

Our story begins here...

Day 4 Chemo, Cycle 1

2011-12-22T19:15:00.001+01:00

Today all's well :) Praise God!

By now Pavel is getting used to it all :)
We only had to change the cannula today, as it was leaking, thank God it was running on normal saline that time...and I saw it dripping it out =)

Pavel's also on lots of anti-emetics and 1 antidepressant...I guess it helps as he's not feeling nauseous at all :)

Anti-emetics:
Day 1, 2 3: Emend tabs
Daily: Hexal (metaclopramide) 10mg tabs TDS
& in his infusion he also gets Cerucal 2 amps

Anti-depressant: Neural (alprazolam) 0.25mg TDS
At first we didn't take the Hexal and Neural but the nurse advised to take it cause it'll definitely come later...so pray that it never comes ;)

One more day and Cycle 1 will be completed! =)

Today it's not snowing anymore...and looks like Christmas is not gonna be white as the weather forecast it to be sunny instead! oh well we had a day yesterday of snow..so it's good :)

Now all we want for Christmas, literally Pavel's miracle =)

Love you people who have been so very kind :)

Oh I'll probably talk on the health diet too later on ;)
Been experimenting a lot with food, to ensure that healthy stuff taste just as good ..will pop in some ideas..can't really give an exact recipe cause I never measure it out and stuff :D

Our story begins here...

Day 1, 2 & 3 Chemo

2011-12-20T20:26:00.001+01:00

Monday 19th Dec 2011

Day 1 Chemo, Cycle 1 begins...

BEP Regimen - bleomycin, etoposide, cisplatin
BSA: 2.13
Current weight: 90kg
Current height: 182cm

40mg of Cisplatin
200mg of Etoposide

First IV: Cerucal (metoclopramide) 10mg 2amps + Dexa 16mg + Aloxi (palonosetron) 1amp
Second IV: 1000mg normal saline
Third IV: 40mg Cisplatin in 1000mg normal saline
Fourth IV: 20% Mannitol
Fifth IV: 200mg Etoposide in 500ml normal saline

All went well with no complications! =)
From 9am - 2:45pm about 5hrs 45mins total infusion time
Cannula was a bit painful but apart from that, it's good.
Went home and disinfect everything else. Good hygiene must now be practiced. =)

Tuesday 20th December 2011
Day 2 Chemo, Cycle 1

Everything was the same with an addition of 30mg Bleomycin jab.
No complications with the jab in the butt! :)
Today it took even longer as Pavel didn't fancy the Mannitol running fast...he wants to take it slow and enjoy himself :D

7:30am - 2:30pm about 7 hours total infusion time

Pavel is doing well and strong! =) Getting used to having the cannula around, as it's left on and not removed. BUT Fionna has been knocked out...Pavel is sitting comfortably in the chair while Fionna was sleeping in his bed nicely from 8am - 1130am. Totally zonked out!

Wednesday 21st December 2011
Day 3 Chemo, Cycle 1

Back to Day 1 infusion routine.
All is well and Pavel is doing great!
Today it's good time :)
7:45am - 1:30pm: 5hours 45mins total infusion time :D

Both of us are doing well in the hospital and getting used to it there :)

Pavel is getting a bit tired, so he took a nap just now for about an hour =)

Keep us in your prayers! That Pavel won't have any side effects and he'll stay strong :) And for Fionna too that she'll be healthy and be the best wife for Pavel :D

ooo and Pavel's wish came true :) God made it snow!~ Lots of snow today =) It's gonna be a white christmas after all :) soft fluffy snow!

ps please click on the advertisements on the right, to help us with our funding! ;D

Our story begins here...

The Epic Story begins...part 3

2011-12-20T19:00:00.000+01:00

After 4 weeks, the results were finally out!

This was quite terrible, as the longer we wait, the more anxious we became. And results should have been out in a week! Sometimes, these are the down sides of having government hospitals.

By now Pavel is already back to work, with no problems at all. Only during the first 2 weeks, he tires out easily and definitely no heavy work.

On Monday morning, we went to see the oncologist. Prayers carried us through, God's grace & peace in abundance were literally what kept us living life happy! =) And a lot of people were praying for us, upholding us. That is what made the difference and kept our spirits high =)

So there it is - Embryonal Carcinoma pT1, NO, MO.

And chemotherapy was the only option offered and it will start next week.
The onco mentioned that due to the high tumor markers, the relapse risk is quite high.

The results from the biopsy:-
Pre-op tumor markers: AFP 546.8 ; hCG 104
Post-op tumor markers: hCG S: 0 ; AFP S: 7.9

So one week to decide whether to go for chemo or not. I read through more articles and contacted 2 other specialist. One based in Prague and another in UK. Both of them were really kind to reply my email the very next day.

Specialist based in Prague has published a few papers and has given me solid information.
Büchler Tomáš MUDr. mentioned that there's only about 400 cases a year of TC (testicular cancer) in Czech Republic itself. And the prognosis are good. Nonetheless due to the high pre-op tumor markers, chemo should be done to reduce the risk of relapse. And 3 cycles of BEP would be recommended for Pavel.

I was somewhat satisfied but than again, knowing the effects of chemo...I still had not really made up my mind as to go ahead with chemo or not...
After discussing with Pavel, we decided to go for at least 1 cycle of chemo and see how it is.

Than I was reading up on http://tcrc.acor.org which gave me really good information and here is where the other school of thought stands out...
They would classify any non-seminoma stage 1 as low risk and thus surveillance is advocated instead of going for chemo with potential side effects. Only 20% chance of recurrence, in particular to Pavel's case.
But the surveillance method is pretty taxing and it would require compliance to ensure that the relapse, if occurred, will be caught on early. So it's not exactly ideal either... due to traveling & business

So FINALLY we have decided to go for Chemo.

I thank God that I was working in UMMC (teaching hospital based in Malaysia), as they have one of the best oncology unit. So this background knowledge was definitely useful. Throughout the whole time, I was doing a lot of research and reading, finding the best possible treatment for Pavel and ensuring that the everything is in order. More so, to satisfy myself that everything that can be done, has been done. Definitely not letting anyone mistakes befall upon us - in this scenario, ignorance can cause you the life.

The Epic Story begins… (part 1)
The Epic Story begins... (part 2)

Note: I will try to write a concise post on Testicular Cancer, Healthy Diet, Sperm Bank - so that all of you out there are made aware of it. After all I've done a lot of research and reading already. If you need more info on top of it, please feel free to drop me a note.

The Epic Story begins... part 2

2011-12-19T17:55:00.001+01:00

After collecting ourselves together (2 days), it's now time to get things sorted.

As some of you may know, we were planning to go to Czech for the next phase of our lives. Thus now, everything needs to be brought up to speed, all our paperworks especially mine, needs to be sorted.

More info on Malaysian marrying a Czech (will be written soon)

We weren't prepared for the public, so we only kept it to a very minimum, just to have enough support and people praying for us. Talking about it was just too raw than…

Less than 10 days, we packed our lives in Malaysia and headed for Czech. For a second opinion and treatment to be done.

The urologist was seen and immediately the op (aka orchiectomy) is scheduled the very next day. The worst outcome came to realization as the opinion was the same as in Malaysia.

About 4 inches bikini line scar and a ball less was the result of it. More info on Testicular Cancer will be written soon.

One thing good about Czech's healthcare is that everything is free, even hospital stay. Thus the decision to get treatment here. Only a minimal amount of like CZK 60/day of hospital stay. BUT it will not last long, as it is burdening the government budget. PLUS hospitals tend to over stay their patients, as they can get more budget out of it. That is why Pavel had to stay for 5 days in the hospital, when everything was perfectly fine.

Pavel's recovery took about a week before he could start walking properly again.

The op was successful and had no complications.

Now just to wait for the results of the biopsy.

to be continued…

The Epic Story begins… (part 1)

Note: I will try to write a concise post on Testicular Cancer, Healthy Diet, Sperm Bank - so that all of you out there are made aware of it. After all I've done a lot of research and reading already. If you need more info on top of it, please feel free to drop me a note.

The Epic Story begins...

2011-12-17T12:52:00.000+01:00

Our encounter with cancer...

It all started 2 weeks after our KL wedding this helps us to remember our wedding date and how many days we're already married! 71 days to be exact ;D a lump was found in the right testicle, although some discomfort was already felt a few weeks before..brushing it off thinking that it would go away.

Seeing that the lump was actually growing in size, a little research was done - infection/knotted/cancer

Off to the doctors...went to see a normal GP (bad mistake - as he didn't even do an ultrasound seeing that he didn't have any fever or any other infection like symptoms - antibiotics for 5 days were prescribed)
GP: if it doesn't get better, you need to see a specialist.

I though that since he is a GUY, he would know better. WRONG. Fionna must always trust her research and instincts more...than again maybe I kinda wish the doctor would be right and cancer would not be an option...

Thinking of seeing a govt. specialist but eventually we went to the private sector. Govt. department asked him to wait for a month -_- I seriously think our govt. hospitals are screwed up in this way. They should at least check on him first.

As the specialist examine him, the worst conclusion was related.

Urologist: It's very likely a tumor. Cancer would be it. Due to the fact that antibiotics didn't show any improvement and furthermore there's no infection like symptoms (ie fever, constan pain).
Do you have kids?

Us: No.

Urologist: Well than you best be looking to store your sperm in the sperm bank. As chemo would be done as well. So you can save the sperm for future usage.

Us - pretty much stunned...I knew this was one of the possibilities but to hear it coming our from the specialist...made it seem so much worst. We definitely was not prepared for it.

We left the doctor's office...sadden...shock...we needed time to collect ourselves together...

to be continued...

Note: I will try to write a concise post on Testicular Cancer, Healthy Diet, Sperm Bank - so that all of you out there are made aware of it. After all I've done a lot of research and reading already. If you need more info on top of it, please feel free to drop me a note.

in a foreign land called Czech

2011-12-14T16:30:00.000+01:00

so many things have occurred in life...i feel that sometimes i really need a hardisk to store up all the happenings and a smart system to be able to retrieve it anytime :) i guess the best is friends...the people in my life could remember so much more than I do!..my reasoning would be - there's too much going on in life :p as I savor every moment of it...the old ones just got archived somewhere XD

anyway now i'm in a foreign land called Czech but not so foreign as it is the home to my beloved husband! *i have to start using husband somewhere :D*

it is a nice country definitely...although my love for my country still stands =) slowly I'm starting to meet nice & friendly people on my own..even though language bars up...i think my charm still works ;)
and i'm learning more Czech as the day passes

simple phrases for those of you traveling to Prague:-

Hello - ahoj (a-hoy: just like the way the sailors say it ;)

Please - prosím (proh-seem)

Thank You - děkuji (jeh-ku-ee)

BEER - pivo (pi-vo) no doubt one of the best in the world :D

Water - voda (vo-dah)

most of the water bottled are carbonated, if you don't fancy it like me look out for this sign

on the bottle ne perlivý (non carbonated)

Pub - hospoda (hos-poh-dah)

not only do they have beers but good cheap food too!

Some simple facts about Czech Republic:-
- it's land locked
- borders 4 countries: Poland (NE), Slovakia (SE), Germany (NW) & Austria (SW)
- everything is in Czech, LITERALLY every movie & book that comes in here is translated into Czech despite having a population of only 10.5M & with Prague 1.2M
FYI: Malaysia 28M and KL 2.7M
- Prague is one of the top 10 most romantic cities in the world ;)

will post interesting stuff to see and do in Prague next time :D

Interesting Sights & Taste in Prague

2011-12-01T21:59:00.000+01:00

Well apart from the usual stuff like Charles Bridge and Prague's Castle, here's some of what I find interesting in Prague =)

In no particular order..

this is just for you Ju!

Bring your STUDENT CARD!! Good discounts =)

1. Prague's Zoo
2. Gallery below Petrin's tower - can't recall the name now. nearby the cable car about 200 - 300m away.
3. Prague Castle's park (north side of the castle)
4. Mirror room under Petrin tower - good fun =)
5. Night view of Prague is a must!!!
6. Christmas tree in Old Town Square - must see
7. Observatory tower - it's really cool to see the universe =D 500m South of Petrin tower
8. Kampa
9. Botanical Gardens - really cool just opposite the zoo
10. BobovaDraha.cz - super cool bob sleighs kinda thing. Really good fun!! =D

they have lots of museums here...so if you wanna go..you can spend a whole day there.
The technical museum collects all the past 150 years of invention..Pavel likes it..so up to you :)

Food/drinks:-
1. Slivovice - czech national drink
2. Fried cheese - get it from the road side stall. when you see a burger like picture. this is it. instead of burger patties, it's fried cheese
3. Langose - road side stall
4. Big hot dog - definitely worth the try
5. Novohradsky Pivovar - good food and beer!!! :D it's a catacomb like place. Need to book. 10 - 30m away from Vodicka tram station. 300m west from St. Vincent Square. I think it's gonna be one of a kind christmas dinner :)
5. Pivovarsky Dum - near tram station Stepanska (near IP Pavlova subway station) about 70m east. lots of different beer shots in different flavors. Nice! =D Food's good too.
6. Koleno - pork knee. must try!
7. Kachna se zelim - duck with cabbage. good! red cabbage is sweet, white cabbage is sour. both is good to try. :)
8. Svickova - some meat dish la..really nice :D
9. Garlic soup - super potent stuff but nice :D
10. Segedynsky gulash - special czech gulash with cabbage order with dumplings = knedlik

to be further updated for the rest of you! =)

butterflies

2011-11-22T14:34:00.001+01:00

butterfly flutters all but only awhile
footprints imprinted
the rolling blue waves comes and go
every breath, life so precious
only the Creator understands
the answers to every Why
pearls created
life but a passing moment
love abides hope prevails

people back home

2011-11-17T15:32:00.001+01:00

Do you know what's one of the things that makes life amazing? Or rather MY life amazing? =)

Well money - definitely =D
But there's more to it :)

People who are called friends and family :)
My life has been so blessed with so many amazing people that have made my life awesome to say the least =)
Even though some of them I don't always see, they still made a difference in my life.

*super side track: transferring wedding pics and looking at them for the first time! pretty awesome pics and so much work to sort them out!*

I think during my wedding was one of those pinnacles in my life whereby I get to see all my friends whom I have not seen for a long long time...and I sure do hope the next round won't be my funeral when I get to see all of them again! it would be a pity than =)

Even though there are some people who did not contribute to my life positively nonetheless they are important. They are my teacher as they have taught me something valuable and thus deserve my respect. They too helped mold me to who I am today =)

I was literally ecstatic seeing all my friends (I don't have a big family..) and what they gave up in exchange to be present on my special day. I'm so grateful and touched =) & definitely tells me that I have done some right things in life :)

So this is especially dedicated to all of you back home in Malaysia & more so to those of you who made it to my wedding. Each and everyone of you my heartfelt appreciation. Once again, words are limited to express my gratitude and my feelings to each and everyone of you =)

To those who have a special place in my heart, we've spent time together that no one can replace =)

I'm so thankful to God for giving me special people to be part of my life. In each and every phase of my life, there are always special people who resides in my heart. Right from my little tot stage, primary school, secondary school, college, university (where I found my sweetheart :) and in Glasgow. Definitely not forgetting my church life which have played an integral and central part of my life. =)
Thinking back, my life is totally so blessed with all these wonderful people =) It's amazing how I can meet some random bloke and be buddies the next day ;)

Now a new life and a new journey has already started...
I believe I'll continue to meet awesome people in my life, no matter where I am, the special people whom I have encounter will always have a place in my heart :) And as I grow older, my heart too enlarges to fit in more people.

To all of you amazing people back home in Malaysia - Thank You for everything :)
You have made a difference in my life for the better =D

A new journey has begun

2011-11-16T16:11:00.000+01:00

I guess the only time whereby blogging works for me is when I'm relocated =)

Somehow when I'm back home there's always things and people which takes up my time...and being away in a new place enables me more time for reflection and to write =)

I have always fancied writing but lacks the focus and determination to do so...maybe I might just start :)

So that's for the prelude ;D

Right now Fionna Tan Bednar - yes I'm MARRIED and I'm only 26! :D has relocated to Czech Republic.
We have been here for about 2 weeks now...have battled some challenges and thank God all is well =)

I'm so blessed to be able to faith and have hope in my God =) Life without Him would surely be terrible! Being able to hope in itself is a blessing :)

I have learned a lot and have much more to learn. And each day I can thank God for one of His greatest gifts to me - Pavel Bednar :)

Well that's all the time I have for now ;) gotta go and learn Czech! :D

2011

2011-06-05T20:01:00.000+02:00

I have decided to probably re-activate this blog :)

Just for a place to doodle around...
What's new?

Wedding in 124 days?? :D
So yea... not much into a writing mood now...so laters!

http://tinyurl.com/pavfio

BACK!!!

2010-04-24T02:57:00.002+02:00

after a long long long long time I've been gone from blogging..I've decided to come back again :D

currently a pharmacist cum entrepreneur, soon to be a full time entrepreneur ;) so i guess i would have more time than

i shall try out tweeting as well! =D

Hellloooooo blogging world!!

Kids

2008-09-25T22:07:00.000+02:00

- Kahlil Gibran -
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself....
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit,
Not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them be like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

crossroads

2008-08-20T17:26:00.002+02:00

crossroads lies ahead
take one and forgo the rest
life at it is

sometimes you wish you had taken the other road
sometimes you wish you could turn back
but once sojourned there's no turning back
only forward can you stride

the road less traveled
others praise it
others fear it
others are just simply not willing to take it

a road carved out
a road not taken
only a few
only a few takes it

Easdale, Scotland

tony mendelez

2008-07-30T12:12:00.000+02:00

pure inspiration & encouragement =_)

breakfast at 6am

2008-07-28T07:18:00.007+02:00

goooood morning people!!!

yup it's like 6am well to be exact 6:20am...and I've already had my breakfast XD

couldn't get back to sleep as my tummy was acting all weird...so I got up ...had cereal with yogurt
and now...I'm here quite wide awake...I should be sleeping again soon enough!

oh last week's weather was brilliant!!!

and this is what I decided to do ^^

lazy to rotate my photos =p

ahh Glasgow with its 'perfect' weather

sheer genius!~ current read:
Philip Yancey -Reaching for the Invisible God-
brilliant!!

alas! i've finished the book XD after 6months!!

there's always time for everything ^^

ps: photos taken with my new tytn =D

tytn-ing!!

2008-07-26T12:17:00.002+02:00

ahh yes Fionna's latest craze: tytn-ing!!

haha yup that's my new PPC (pocket PC)

Polish dudes rocks ^^
and rapidshare rocks double muwahaha

lalala

2008-07-24T00:44:00.003+02:00

it's 23:49 and I'm yawning!!! my eyes are getting heavier tooo XD

man! my body clock has once again change thanks to the house that I'm staying in ^^ which is also fattening me up =p min 3 meals a day!~

ahh but life is awesome!! ^^

i actually thought today was Tuesday!! but it turned out to be Wednesday XD got my days messed up..can't blame me for being too busy haha

taking my own sweet time to fiddle with things =p

ahh but i've been busy as well =p
watching movies
reading books
alright the more serious side of my busy-ness ^^
running up ideas for my business proposalss XD
maintaining my relaunched website of $tudney: www.studney.blogspot.com
networking ..connecting
minor trading
emailing all the important people
cooking
eating
baking
sleeping haha...I get my 9hours of sleep if not more =p (no wonder my time passes so fast..sheeze!)
oh yea..working out!! can't possibly not work out with more than 3 meals a day!!

ahh but the house i'm living is awesome ^^
great people with great food (at least most of the time hahaha) what more? *grins*

the clock is working against me...as my new phase of life eagerly approaches at 200kmph

as much as i'm enjoying my life now...I can't wait for the next phase

my tagline in Glasgow still remains...learning growing journeying
let's see what's in my laptop ...oh yea..graduation photo ^^

yea my hair has gone really long....yet to cut it since January ^^
plan to cut it in Czech..that would be like my top to do when I arrive =D
so just another 5 more weeks and bye bye hair haha...i'm gonna go bald!~

what is fionna up to???

2008-07-17T16:43:00.008+02:00

well maintaining 2 blogs is certainly not easy!!!!!

i've just decided to relaunch my other blog
$tudney =D

www.studney.blogspot.com

so I'm pumping up that site and at the same time...getting my flight tickets sorted out..and alas today everything is all done up!!! thank God *phew!*

and at the same time..I'm also re-connecting with all the people which I haven't had the chance to connect with for the past 6months!! yea...for the first half of the year I was in another world ^^

so much things to catch up...
than I've got to think about some business proposals...currently working on 2-3 of them...pray that all goes well and it will just hit off =)

I've really been lagging on my book reading as well!!! Haven't even finish 1 single book since the last 6months!!!

ooo..I'm back into my workout routines =D
decided to incorporate swimming into my workout...as one of my buddies reasoning was logical enough for me to get me swimming again XD

rights so what kinda flight tickets was I bothering myself with?

24th Aug: Fionna Tan steps into Czech
hoping to have a road trip to Western Europe incorporated in
gonna be seeing my Czech buddies again =D

19th Sept: Fionna Tan steps into Brazil
after years!!!! I'm seeing my Brazilian buddy again =D

14th Oct: Back to Prague

16th Oct: Back to Glasgow via Edinburgh

20th Oct: Back to HOME = Kuala Lumpur

25th Oct: Fionna Tan steps into Bali
wheeeeeeeee family vacation!!!!!! with mum, dad, ryan & sharon, ron & MEEEeeeee
after one year plus of not seeing my siblings!!!!!!!!!

Nov: Fionna Tan is back in KL proper and plans to throw a welcome back party =D
so all of you whom I haven't seen since I left KL, do make your way to my home...will announce which Friday =)
if you're traveling from out of KL feel free to stay at my place ^^
just bring food and drinks and presents!!! hahaha
lazy to prepare food la me XD

plus imagine this...i'm loving my mac..but it's been a year now and i still haven't got enough time to mess around with it!!! XD

time is flying pass by really quick...first it was sunday and now it's thursday!!!

oh yea not to mention i've got Gigs of photos to sort out!! look up my facebook for pictures ^^

in glasgow

2008-07-07T16:10:00.003+02:00

heya peeepss!!!!

been quite a good whole while!! Can't even remember the last time..i sat in front of my laptop and just doing my stuff...loads of stuff to sort out!!

first off

wheeee i got my sorta new phone: HTC TYTNN ^^ (dad got the touch diamond XD and I was talking to him about it a day before and the next day he bought it with Ryan!!)

I'll be in Glasgow till August

Sept will be off to Czech and a few western european coutries than Brazil!!! all in all 40days!! wheeeee!!

End of Oct FAMILY VACATION in Bali!!! wheeeeeeeee
Nov start work Wheeeee (hopefully hahaha)

oh wait Nov...Fionna Tan's welcome back party!!! wheeeeeeee
than work wheeeeee

God is good!!!

check my facebook profile for pictures =D

haven't upload my Oslo and Mallorca pictures yet...got like 600plus pictures each!! and more for Oslo!! haha...

I'm gonna sell my prints soon ^^

need to get back to my workout routine...so off to the gym sooon ^^

=D

2008-07-04T01:15:00.002+02:00

haha it's been ages since I last blog!!!

been around the world ^^

currently in Isle of Skye and life is great!!

just in case you didn't know...I'm an official graduate now =D

been to Oslo, Norway and Mallorca, Spain =D

God is good that's my bottom line =D

will be back!!! soon enough hehehe

my daddy

2008-06-17T12:16:00.004+02:00

Hamburg, Germany

my daddy the man of my life
he showed me what a man should be like
he showed me what a man should live like
my daddy the man of my life

my daddy the man of my life
my world would never be complete without you
my world would cease to be a world without you
my daddy the man of my life

he gave me grace
and in return I gave grace
he gave me love
and in return I gave love

he taught me trust
he taught me hope
he believed in me
he inspired me

I trust and hope
I believed and inspire

you always wanted the best for me
you always wanted me to be safe
you would do whatever it takes to make sure my life is at the best you can offer
you would do whatever it takes to make sure my life has no ill fate

you made sense of what God is like

and my dear daddy would always be my daddy
and I would always be my daddy's girl

pharmacy application back home

2008-06-11T11:44:00.001+02:00

just a lil info
courtesy of Joe Quah =)

Dear all,

I got this from my friend in Ireland. Take a read and you can apply for a job online (if you want to) before you go home.

Cheers.

Joe

__________________________________________________

SISTEM PENGAMBILAN PEGAWAI PERUBATAN/PERGIGIAN/FARMASI GRED U41

(A) Maklumat tentang Pengambilan Secara Sistem Terbuka oleh SPA

Khusus untuk calon-calon warganegara Malaysia lulusan universiti-universiti luar negara yang diiktiraf oleh Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam Malaysia.

Calon-calon Semenanjung Malaysia akan ditemu duga di ibu pejabat SPA di Putrajaya pada setiap hari Selasa manakala calon-calon Sabah/Sarawak akan ditemuduga di pejabat SPA Cawangan Sabah atau SPA Cawangan Sarawak (mana yang berkaitan) pada tarikh-tarikh yang akan dimaklumkan kemudian .

(B) Cara memohon

Permohonan melalui "Internet" di laman web dengan mengisi Borang SPA8i online. ( www.spa.gov.my)

Isikan borang SPA (ST) dan hantarkan kepada Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam Malaysia sekurang-kurangnya 1 minggu sebelum temu duga melalui fax atau e-mel.

Tempahan tarikh temu duga melalui talian terus ke SPA.

Nota :Pada masa yang sama, calon juga diminta mengisi borang-borang berikut:-

Pendaftaran sementara dengan Majlis Perubatan Malaysia / Majlis Pergigian Malaysia / Lembaga Farmasi Malaysia (yang mana berkaitan).

Borang maklumat diri dengan Bahagian Sumber Manusia, Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia.

(C) Dokumen yang perlu di bawa semasa temuduga

Calon-calon dikehendaki membawa dokumen asal dan salinan seperti berikut:-

i) Kad Pengenalan;

ii) Sijil Kelahiran;

iii) Sijil SPM;

iv) Ijazah atau transkrip keputusan peperiksaan tahun akhir; dan

v) Sijil pendaftaran dengan Majlis Perubatan Malaysia / Majlis Pergigian Malaysia / Lembaga Farmasi Malaysia (sekiranya telah berdaftar).

DAPATKAN SIJIL PENGALAMAN YANG MEMUASKAN DARI MAJLIS PERUBATAN MALAYSIA

(D) Tawaran Pelantikan

Tawaran surat pelantikan akan dibuat pada hari temu duga bagi calon-calon yang berjaya terutamanya calon-calon yang telah memperolehi Sijil Pendaftaran daripada Majlis Perubatan Malaysia/ Majlis Pergigian Malaysia/ Lembaga Farmasi Malaysia.

Bagi calon-calon yang belum memperolehi sijil pendaftaran dengan Majlis Perubatan Malaysia / Majlis Pergigian Malaysia / Lembaga Farmasi Malaysia, calon-calon akan menerima surat lantikan bersyarat daripada SPA

Carta Aliran Proses Kerja Bagi Urusan Pelantikan

Pegawai Perubatan/Pergigian/Farmasi (melalui JPA)

(1) Lapor diri di JPA ( Bahagian Latihan, Unit C) Bagi pelajar-pelajar tajaan JPA

Pelajar diminta untuk atur temujanji dgn SPA bagi urusan temuduga

(2) Isi borang SPA8i ( Boleh dilakukan secara online, www.spa.gov.my)

Mengisi Borang Pendaftaran MMC/MPM/LFM

Alamat MMC:

Majlis Perubatan Malaysia
Bahagian Amalan Perubatan
Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia
Aras 2-3 & 7 Blok E1, Parcel E
62590 Putrajaya
Tel : 03-88831039
Laman Web : medicalprac. moh.gov.my
E-mel: mmckkm@yahoo.com

Mengisis Borang maklumat diri dengan Bahagian Sumber Manusia, Kementerian Kesihatan

Tempahan tarikh temuduga dengan Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam

Pelajar adalah dinasihatkan untuk mendaftar dahulu dengan MMC sebaik sahaja tiba di tanah air. Sekiranya pelajar tidak sempat berbuat demikian, bolehlah mendaftar selepas temuduga dijalankan

(3) Hadir temuduga di SPA (Temuduga diadakan setiap hari Selasa)

Terima surat pelantikan daripada SPA bagi calon-calon yang berjaya pada hari temuduga

(4) Lapor diri di Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia untuk urusan penempatan

* Proses ini mengambil masa di antara 6-8 hari bekerja

Carta Aliran Proses Kerja Bagi Urusan Pelantikan

Pegawai Perubatan/Pergigian/Farmasi (melalui SPA)

1. Pelajar menempah terus tarikh temuduga dgn SPA melalui talian terus/faks/emel selepas tamat pengajian sebelum pulang ke tanah air

2. Pelajar boleh hadir terus sesi temuduga dengan SPA yang diaturkan setiap hari Selasa selepas kembali ke tanah air.

Terima surat pelantikan drpd SPA bagi calon-calon yang berjaya pada hari temuduga

3. Lapor diri di Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia untuk urusan penempatan

Proses ini mengambil masa 1 hari bekerja

(E) Maklumat Tambahan

Calon-calon yang telah dilantik menjadi Pegawai Perubatan (U41) hendaklah berkhidmat sebagai houseman untuk tempoh 1 tahun dengan memuaskan.

Majlis Perubatan Malaysia akan mengemukakan Sijil Pengalaman memuaskan kepada pegawai yang telah menyelesaikan tempoh houseman selama 1 tahun.

Pegawai seterusnya akan mendapatkan sijil pendaftaran penuh daripada MMC dan notis khidmat daripada Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia.

Pegawai seterusnya perlu menjalani perkhidmatan wajib selama 3 tahun.

Temuduga di SPA akan dipengerusikan sendiri oleh Pengerusi SPA dengan wakil-wakil daripada MMC, MPM dan LFM pada setiap hari Selasa. Pada masa yang sama calon juga diminta mengisi borang pendaftaran sementara dengan MMC/MPM/LFM oleh pihak SPA sebelum temuduga.

Bagi calon-calon yang belum memperolehi sijil pendaftaran MMC/MFM/LFM, tawaran pelantikan secara bersyarat akan diberikan oleh SPA tertakluk mengemukakan sijil pendaftaran MMC/MFM/LFM semasa melapor diri untuk bertugas di KKM. Surat tawaran pelantikan dikeluarkan selepas temuduga diadakan pada hari yang sama.

Sekiranya pelajar memerlukan maklumat tambahan bolehlah berhubung dengan pejabat ini untuk mendapatkan maklumat lanjut.

DAPATKAN SIJIL PENGALAMAN YANG MEMUASKAN DARI MAJLIS PERUBATAN M�SIA

PEJABAT PENASIHAT LATIHAN IRELAND

JABATAN PERKHIDMATAN AWAM

MAC 2007

clinical trial study 2

2008-06-11T10:29:00.004+02:00

well since I didn't post up anything on the first clinical trial study..it would be quite good to post this up ^^

my second round of study...hopefully I don't get fever this time =p

alright background info:
Osteoporosis drug
Objective: testing a new formulation --> effervescent and tablets
so generally the drug is already in the market but now they would like to produce a different formulation to see how this new formulation (effervescent) works.
Downside: invasive --> nasal tube insertion into your stomach to monitor the pH levels.that's how the tube looks like and this has to be attached to me till 3pm

how does it feel? annoying as there is a tube in my throat...I can feel it each time I swallow..
and than for the first time round, I got a pretty bad fever..so hopefully I don't get it this time XD

plus points: i get paid! about £120plus for a day 7am - 3pm
i get wifi connection so I can clear up my stuff from the last 2 months!!

so much has been happening that I don't even have time to blog all about it!~

ok back to this study
I think I'm taking the tablet this time round, as the last time round I got effervescent which tasted pretty good I must say but took ages to completely move out from my stomach

so I should be taking the tablet at 11am..the faster it goes out from my stomach the sooner I get to drink a glass of smoothie ( my only food since 10:30pm yesterday)
oh yea another point to note ..for the whole 24hours yesterday, I was not allowed to take in alcohol or caffeine...normally it wouldn't be a prob but it's like after exams...intake of alcohol is a norm over here as they don't have teh tarik and it is highly expensive to get a cup of coffee XD

rights lazy to blog now....wanna do other stuff first...shall blog later XD

7th June 2008

2008-06-07T19:00:00.003+02:00

one of the many beautiful sites of Scotland -Inverness Weekend Trip-

the sun is up and the skies are clear
with beads of sweat trickling down my forehead
buzzing about with nothingness
trying to keep my cool
huffing and puffing with stuffs that are not mine
keeping what's mine till last

a kind hearted soul was found
and into a new place i move

i thought it wouldn't be that bad
but i am wrong
i thought the brilliant weather today would perk me up
but i am wrong

Glasgow = a hot sunny day on the 7th of June 2008
1 year has indeed flown by

the last moments spent was golden
but time seemed to have stole away
wished it would just have lasted a few more moments

a good day to be moving without the rain and chilly winds
God was indeed smiling, giving us the bright sunny weather

walking down the streets brings back memories
a gush of emotions
a grin for the silly-ness and whacky-ness and laughters
a tear for missing you
a smile for the fond memories

should have booked myself away
seems to be always better to be leaving than being left

moments alone
it's been quite awhile now
with all the bustling settled down
moments alone

swimming in the pool of thoughts

1 yr of life packed up

2008-06-07T03:13:00.003+02:00

desktop worth: Glasgow (one of the parks and many walks taken)

1 year has come to an end
...today would be last night here in JBC
my small lil' room...
from nothing-ness to Fionna's Room
and now...packing it all up

how time flew by
there were moments that seemed like an eternity
and yet eternity seemed like a moment
surreal...

my flatmates...whom I've been staying for a year
will no longer be my flatmates anymore
and to them I'm grateful for being such great flatmates
putting up with my insane doings at times
with the it's just Fionna to tell themselves that it's alright

people i've come to known
people i've come to love

sleep is knocking
but yet I do not wish to answer
for by doing so ....the night might seemed just a bit longer
to savor the last few hours that i have left

it's remarkable how life could change another
without knowing
without exception
paths intertwine

to the best flatmates that I could ever have
simply because I won't be staying in a flat anymore! haha
and would not trade anyone else for either one of YOU

my academic life have at long last come to an end
a big huge chunk of a chapter coming to an end
graduation awaits me
by His grace I graduate
I can only be awed

letting moments sink in...
till I type again ...not in JBC anymore

utensils FOR SALE!~

2008-06-06T17:06:00.002+02:00

i got kitchen utensils FOR SALE XD

one whole stash of stuff...selling everything together...so you can sell to your other batchmates if you don't need them all

80 pounds for
- rice cooker
- steamer
- slow cooker
- big pot
- frying pan
- small pot
- lots of spoons and forks
- knives
- 3 chopping board: diff sizes
- 3 buckets: useful for washing clothes
- lots of plates
- lots of bowls
- wooden frying stuffsss, ladle, stir-fry stuff
- extra stuff thrown in ^^

email me or drop PF or alicia a buzz
=D

wheeeeeee!!!!!!

2008-06-04T12:35:00.003+02:00

one of the beaches during our Inverness trip

journey to Inverness

hahaha this is exactly how I'm feeling now

done with my VIVA and thank GOD it went quite alright I'd suppose...since I could answer most of the Qs except for one ^^

wheeeeeeee

muwahahaha FIONNA TAN is back to enjoying her routine-less roller-coaster!!!!

*i gotta admit that I look cheeky* muwahaha

Mahathirism

2008-06-03T04:22:00.000+02:00

interesting article...when will Malaysia grow up?

History of Mahathir!

---------------------------
21-05-2008: Dr M determined to get what he wants, everything else is collateral damage
04:19PM (21-05-2008)

A LEOPARD never changes its spots.

Nearly 40 years ago as a young Umno rebel, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad went on a tirade against the leadership of Tunku Abdul Rahman. Dr Mahathir cleverly used the race angle, accusing the Tunku of failing to protect and promote the interests of the Malays.

He was sacked by Umno, a move which made him a hero with the Malay community. When the Tunku resigned in the aftermath of the May 13, 1969 race riots, his successor Tun Abdul Razak not only brought Dr Mahathir back to the party but also paved the way for him to become Umno president and prime minister in 1981.

Dr Mahathir is now hoping to topple the current Umno president and prime minister by playing the same game ? adopting the race angle and hoping to stoke fear and anger among the Malays against Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

Just listen to the speeches he has been giving since the March 8 elections, the latest last week in Johor when he said the Malays were losing their grip on power. At a gathering of some 1,000 people, he said: ?If we don?t speak up, if we choose to keep quiet, we will lose our rights and the other races will take over.?

On his blog, he recently wrote: ?Today, the Malays have lost their political power and the non-Malays no longer respect the Malays and the Malay institutions. All the special rights of the Malays are being challenged and questioned. And the Malays cannot do anything to strengthen their position.?

The fact is power in this country is still very much in the control of the Malays and will remain so and no non-Malay would dare challenge Malay institutions like the royalty. In fact, the last time we checked, the only person who had done anything against the Malay royalty was Dr Mahathir himself when he was the all powerful prime minister who tolerated no challenge to his authority and views.

But obviously Dr Mahathir will not let facts get in the way of his fear mongering and his current goal to knock out Abdullah.

Dr Mahathir was hoping that the Umno leadership would sack him like they did in 1969, but Abdullah has learnt from the Tunku. He didn?t want to make Dr Mahathir a hero or trigger a wave of sympathy for him.

Frustrated that Abdullah did not sack him, Dr Mahathir on Monday decided to quit Umno and swore to return only when Abdullah is no longer the leader. He also urged Umno members to follow him.

Throughout his political career, Dr Mahathir is obsessed with only what suits him and will do anything to try and get what he wants. The consequences didn?t matter. Everything and everybody else is collateral damage.

Be it the tension that led to May 13, 1969; the political infighting in Umno that ended with the 1987 arrest under the ISA of over 100 people and the sacking of six top judges just as the court was set to hear an Umno appeal case; to the vicious 1998 crackdown on his then deputy and supporters, one common theme stood out ? Dr Mahathir had to get what he wanted. Everything and everybody else is collateral damage.

It?s the same with his latest move to resign from Umno and his use of the race card to attack Abdullah?s leadership.

Dr Mahathir doesn?t care if Umno, already reeling from the aftershock of the March 8 elections, plunges into turmoil.

Dr Mahathir doesn?t care that his racist attempts to ignite the anger of the Malays will create unnecessary tension.

Dr Mahathir will resort to anything to get what he wants. Everything and everybody else ? including Malaysia and the people of Malaysia ? is collateral damage.

He has succeeded in the past.

This time, we must not let him get away with it.

Umno and its members must not end up as collateral damage to enable Dr Mahathir to get what he wants.

The rakyat and the country must not end up as collateral damage just so that Dr Mahathir can get what he wants.

Tun Musa Hitam said on Monday that the era of Mahathirism was over. The people of Malaysia must show in an emphatic way that it is by rejecting Dr Mahathir?s latest stunt and use of the race card.

riding life

2008-06-03T03:49:00.003+02:00

one of d random pics taken just last week during the Ceilidh

been quite awhile now since i last blog proper!!!

well...just in case some of you might have not known just yet..i got selected for viva XD
good? bad?
just pray that I get an upgrade...not thinking about it too much

been living a routine-less life! after months of studying my brain needs to recoup ^^

loads of random night outs...doing crazee and wacky stuff

below would be an example of my life recently:-

yesterday night...went to Tesco Extra at 1am to buy food for BBQ but than it was raining so we ended up buying food for the oven...went back about 2plus or 3ish...started cooking pizza and eating and drinking XD
oh we baked a whole chicken as well...so we had a supper cum breakfast = supfast

one of the days last week, decided to go to the Botanical Garden at 2am in the morning. So 3 of us buddies went at 12pm after our sleep of course!~ weather was GRRRReat!!! Loads of photos taken, shall post it up soon enough...normality has not return to my life XD

some where along the days...we went for a night walk about 45mins to an hour walk away...and than back...photos shall be up soon as well ^^

oh my whole june is completely booked up
Oslo, Norway: 12th - 16th
Palma Mallorca, Spain: 19th - 27th
Grad Ball: 17th

I think that there's only 1 or 2 days that are completely empty...and those days I shall need to upload pictures and stuff XD

It's gonna be 3am soon...I think I need some sleep
tomorrow I shall need to revise for my viva and than play bball and than one of my buddies are coming over...oh BOY!~

photos to show off

2008-05-23T03:56:00.002+02:00

Location: Wallace Monument & the journey up. Scotland

2:29am

2008-05-21T03:32:00.003+02:00

edradour.scotland.

this will be my last blog ever written in the wee morning hours of my exam...

at long last...today shall be my last paper..
9:30am - 11:30am

the final of all finals....my uni life must come to an end...for a new chapter awaits

pray that I'll pass and graduate!!! I can't wait to get it all off my shoulders....3 and a half years flew pass but yet at the same time it crawled through the hours

hours of studying, hours of research work, hours of academic work

the same dilemma spans through the life of a student...we just wanna pass it and get it over with...for some nothing less than a distinction...for some like me...i just wanna get the cert and chuck it in a drawer...only use it and when I need to apply for some job~

i say i study hard..but others studied harder
i say i play hard..but others played harder
so i say stop comparing, i live my life the way i live it
and my fruits shall be my judge

my life is already secured
my future ordained
but yet hope the intangible
keeps me humble

it was by grace that i came this far
it shall be by grace that i finish
i cannot boast of my own
for i have nothing to boast of
only thing that i can boast of
would be that
God is good, all the time
and all the time, God is good

a praising heart in the storm

2008-05-20T12:31:00.002+02:00

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

all that i have left for today, would be my faith and a praising heart...

rail roads of life

2008-05-19T12:17:00.003+02:00

view.Loch Katrina.Scotland.

Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE 'PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE')
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the chu rch had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
God's Blessings on you toda

living life n my randomness justified

2008-05-15T18:04:00.001+02:00

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to 'cut back the calories'. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible !!

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Who wants to be a millionaire' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because we cram so much into our lives, we tend to even schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process The other day , I stopped the car and bought a triple-Decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away. ... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

'Life may not be the party we hoped for... But while we are here we might as well dance!'

it's thursday~

2008-05-15T13:19:00.004+02:00

mouse pad.love it.gift.lil bro.

well....3 exams are done..and i've got 3 more to go...as i've gotta resit PP3 -_-

time is really flying pass by....
first it was exams a long way more
than arghhh only a day left
than argghh...i'm sitting for the exams...

than argghhh...how to do??

than arghhh...what on earth are those ppl writing about???
got so much to write r???
XD

today it's thursday....i'm not too bothered to be in the library today...plus the fact that my buddy won't be in...so lagi no motivation to go...

you know what i miss?
i miss talking in the malaysian slang where i can just joke easily and pull off a laugh from the audience....here i gotta change my slang...adopt a different way of speaking....a bit difficult though...no as smooth as i want it to be...but maybe a little while longer...i'll just get the whole drift of conversing in ENGLISH!~

it's 12:20 noon ...
i went to work this morning....it's a brilliant job! thank GOD for it!!!
i get paid to talk...a whole whopping £12/hr for 2 hours and than an hour for prep work...which thanks to my experiences ...no prep needed for me...muwahaha
the last session of this mentor thing ends next thursday...i wonder how am i gonna wake up!! as wed is my last paper..muwahahahahahaha

i don't expect to be in bed till at least 4 or maybe 5am?!!? haha CAN'T WAIT

3 weeks of exams..is just wayyyy toooooo long....fatigue sets in....boredom sets in....can't be bothered sets in....SIGH...

than just now i got a phone interview...a part time job for 3 months....ideally starts in mid July...than it's perfect!~ i get paid like £7.94/hr ^^
21hours/ week ...3 months
ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching!!!!
in total i get like £2k whoooo hoooo
hahaha
convert to RM wah sei...kaya sial
haha

mmm...pray that i get something like £8/hr or more and in the city centre so i can just walk to work...hmm that is just brilliant beyond words!!
welp God grants the desires of my heart =)

hopefully my norway trip gets pulled off as well..now a lil problemo since stevo's family booked him a graduation cum bday holiday ...ka-dish...tsk tsk...we'll see we'll see
and than my road trip plan gets pulled off too...

hmm anyway...thinking of going to Uzbek...Germany...Czech...before i head on home...visa expires in Oct...so latest tht i'll be in UK would be Oct....than I need to get my butt out...drop by a few places...than home sweet home...KL my city my life...here I come!!!

i nearly forgot how much i miss my ppl back home!!
till one of my buddies emailed me....i shed a tear and nearly ended up crying! haha XD

but i'm still not sure yet whether i'll come back to UK or not...God has still yet to open the door for me....so till than...KL it is =D

I've got sooo many things planned up to do when I get back...I've grown up!
Learned a whole lot of stuff..
I must get some time aside to write down all the things that I've learned and the things that God has brought me through =)
I wrote some amazing stuff...unfortunately i think i deleted it...ka-dish...

keep me in your prayers!!! that i'll graduate with a masters degree!!!
just want to graduate...not bothered with titles anymore...would be nice to have it...but it doesn't matter in my life...i know where i'm going...i just want the title for fun anyway XD

i think i best get a nap...or study...nap sounds better =)

parties parties parties parties....

clearer skies...

2008-05-13T23:25:00.004+02:00

Guy Fwakes 07

i once thought the skies were blue

i once thought the seas were blue

slowly but surely

the unknown revealed

out of the abundance of the heart

words are formed

things unseen

voices unheard

a journey travelled

a soul sojourn

the day started chilly

the clouds clouded

but as day came

clearer skies...

rhyming pimping

2008-05-12T22:37:00.002+02:00

a shot from island of cumbrae

Gibberish perish fish
Trying to rhyme and mime
May not be the ideal plan
Not the slang in which I rhyme

Pure simple words
Pure simple thoughts
Uncluttering my mind
Emptying my thoughts

How easy life was
How simple it was meant to be
But it is still simple
It is still easy

Living on the high road
Living on the edge
Carefree and without worries
I was meant to be

Maybe there is something bigger
I knew it all along
But not just yet
But not just...

Putting down on paper
Placing for my eyes to read
Makes it less of a hassle
To store it all in the massive maze

3 millions years of data storage
Have you ever got lost?
Not in the living sense it is possible
Drifting into the unknown yet somehow it is known

Life with all its intricacies
Life with all its details
Syphoning yet storing
Once again

Once again I come to the conclusion
It is not meant to be
That is the right question.

info 4 juniors - post n parcels n mails

2008-05-07T21:06:00.002+02:00

heya mates

see if u wanna post up any info regarding the above ...much appreciated =)
esp if u receive parcels every month or so!~

Q from junior
Neways, I got a few questions about mailing stuff to glasgow..Previously I asked u about it before, but I still have some other questions...;P
My sis-in-law is an air stewardess and she'll be flying to london end of may.
So she'll be helping me to mail some stuff by air from london to glasgow.
Problem is, I don't have my address yet. So how would it be possible for her to mail it to my place?
Or should I use my senior's address first?
But u guys are also moving out from the flat soon right?
*blur*
haha

I just need to know how to mail my stuff there and when it reaches the village office, will it be safe to leave it there for a few weeks till i arrive?

welp best would be that ur sis post it as late as possible...than you gotta make sure that the parcel doesn't require your signature to receive it...because if not than u'll have to go to the post office to collect it..and its quite a bit of distance to carry a big box~

yea you can leave at the village office...and than collect it when you arrive...put in a note to inform them would be good too..
my batch mates might post up some other useful info as well..i don't ship things over..so no idea..hehe

God

2008-05-07T11:42:00.000+02:00

YOU SAY	GOD SAYS	BIBLE VERSES
You say: 'It's impossible'	God says: All things are possible	(Luke 18:27)
You say: 'I'm too tired'	God says: I will give you rest	(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: 'Nobody really loves me'	God says: I love you	(John 3:16 & John 3:34 )
You say: 'I can't go on'	God says: My grace is sufficient	(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: 'I can't figure things out'	God says: I will direct your steps	(Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: 'I can't do it'	God says: You can do all things	(Philippians 4:13)
You say: 'I'm not able'	God says: I am able	(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: 'It's not worth it'	God says: It will be worth it	(Roman 8:28 )
You say: 'I can't forgive myself'	God says: I Forgive you	(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: 'I can't manage'	God says: I will supply all your needs	(Philippians 4:19)
You say: 'I'm afraid'	God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear	(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'	God says: Cast all your cares on ME	(I Peter 5:7)
You say: 'I'm not smart enough'	God says: I give you wisdom	(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: 'I feel all alone'	God says: I will never leave you or forsake you	(Hebrews 13:5)

life

2008-05-05T22:53:00.002+02:00

-taken from my walk in Balloch country park-

For hardship does not spring from the soil, nor does trouble sprout from the ground.
Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward. (Job 5:6-7)
__________________________________________________

Uncle Bernie grew up on a farm in Canada. When he was four years old his dad woke him up at 3:00 in the morning. "Cup" his dad said, "get up. We have to go down to the barn."

Cup was his father's nickname for Uncle Bernie. In German it means "the head" and in his family it was his father's way of calling Bernie "The Smart One".
When they got to the barn a mare was giving birth to a foal. "Cup, what do you see?" his father asked.

"I see a momma horse having a baby," Bernie replied. The mare was in trouble and his father had to reach in and turn the foal. "Cup, what do you see?" his father asked. "I see a baby horse coming out."

"Cup what do you see?" he asked again. "I see a baby horse shivering on the straw."

"Cup, what do you see now?" his father asked. "I see the baby horse trying to stand up and the momma horse licking it."

"Cup, what do you see?" his father continued to prod. "I see the baby horse struggling to stay on its feet."

"Cup, what do you see now?" he asked. "I see the baby horse standing on weak legs and the mother nuzzling it."

"Cup, what does it mean?" he asked. "Daddy, I don't know."

"Cup, it means that where there is struggle there is life," he answered.
Where There is Struggle There is Life. Those words sunk into me as Uncle Bernie finished the story.

Source: Embrace the Struggle by Tom Ziglar
__________________________________________________

I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens,for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. (Psalms 50:9-10)

Not long after Dallas Seminary was founded in 1942, bankruptcy knocked at its doors. By noon on one particular day, every creditor threatened foreclosure. That morning, the founders of the Seminary met to pray in president Lewis Sperry Chafer's office. They asked God to provide the needed funds.

Harry Ironside was part of that prayer meeting. When it was his turn to pray, he prayed in his characteristically pointed manner: "Lord, we know that the cattle on a thousand hills are thine. Please sell some of them and send us the money."

Meanwhile, as these men were praying, into the seminary's business office came a tall Texan. Addressing a secretary, he said, "I just sold two carloads of cattle in Fort Worth. I've been trying to make a business deal go through and it won't work, and I feel that God is compelling me to give this money to the seminary. I don't know if You need it or not, but here's the check."

Well aware of the seriousness of the seminary's financial situation, and knowing that it was for that purpose the founders were gathered in prayer, the secretary took the check to the door of the president's office and timidly knocked. When she finally got a response, Chafer took the check out of her hand and stared at it with amazement. The amount matched the exact size of the seminary's debt. Looking at the signature on the check, he recognized the name of the cattle rancher.

Turning to Harry Ironside, he said, "Harry, God sold the cattle!"

Source: Howard Hendricks in Stories for the Heart compiled by Alice Gray

17

2008-05-04T19:30:00.002+02:00

i've already posted like 3 new post my blog in the span of 15mins earlier on...

so i shall not have an overkill on my blog...

thus a note it shall be...

it's sunday and i'm the library after church....that never happens back home....hmm probably it's because over here, i'm just like 5mins away from the library? plus the fact that studying in my room is totally not working (during the day....it's possible in the night)

*memories jogged: "how is it possible?" one of my buddies seem to always use that in a slang-ish way. grins*

hmmm I think it's better to just put this in my blog...haha
www.fionnatan.blogspot.com

now typing in blogger

hmm...well first few hours was fine....now i'm getting restless...doesn't help with the fact that i'm studying alone today...for the first time....completely without MSN, Skype...all those sorts....no one connected alive is communicating with moi...it's just me and my laptop...and no one else...
it...........sucks...

oh well...it's 6:30pm now.... i've got 200 slides to read up for genes....and i'm only at slide no. 53 a quarter of it down...and 3 more quarters of it to go..

i miss playing bball...and going to the gym....my muscles have completely deteriorate (exaggeration employed)

by the way...greek yogurt with swiss muesli (no sugar) plus jam is really good...fast, easy, convenient

haven't been cooking or baking anything special lately....

shall just put my life to stand still for awhile...at least for another 17days....

3mins away from studying..

2008-05-04T18:06:00.000+02:00

This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month, at
Shah Alam. Her name is Priya; she was hit by a lorry.

She was studying in PTPL college. She had a boyfriend named
Shankar. He lives in Johore. Both of them are true lovers. They were always
on the phone with each other. Priya could always be seen with her handphone.

She spends most of the day talking with Shankar. Priya's family knows about
their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family.

Before she passed away she always said to her friends "If I pass
away please burn me with my handphone". She also said the same thing to her
parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin. Many people were there, a lot of
them tried to do so but still couldn't lift it, everyone had tried
to carry the coffin, the result was still the same, it felt very heavy.

Eventually, they called their neighbour, a Thai "bomoh" friend (Pak Darin).

He took a seat and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes,

he said "this girl misses something here". Then her friends told Darin bout her

intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and place her phone,

together with the SIM card inside the casket.

After that they tried to carrying the coffin.

It could now be moved and they carried it into the van easily. Everyone
was shocked (can you feel the fear?).

Priya's parents didn't inform Shankar that Priya had passed away (poor
Shankar). After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.

Shankar: "Atte, I'm coming home today. Please cook something nice for me.
Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today; I want to surprise her."

Her mother replied, "You come home first, I want to tell you something very
important."

After he arrived at Shah Alam, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thought that they were fooling around. He was laughing and said,
"Don't try to fool me .... tell Priya to come out ... I have a gift for her.
Please stop this nonsense."

Then they show him Priya's death certificate; they gave him proof to
make him believe.

Shankar started to sweat profusely. He said, "It's not true. We spoke
yesterday. She still calls me."

Shankar was shaking so badly when suddenly, his phone rang.

"See this is from Priya. See this ...." he showed the phone to Priya's
family. All of them told him to answer. He used the "speakerphone" mode. All
of them heard this conversation, loud and clear. No crossed lines, no
humming. It was Priya's voice! And there was no way others could use her
SIM card as it was nailed to the inside of the casket! They were so shocked and asked
for Pak Darin's help.

Pak Darin brought his master (Tok Chen) to investigate this disturbing mystery. He and Pak
Darin worked for 5 hours...then they discovered something...

*DiGi. Best coverage ever, ONE LOW FLAT RATE~!!!!!!! Anyone, any network,
anytime, ANYWHERE!!!*

I WILL FOLLOW YOU... FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU MAY GO...............hehehehehe

why we should share

2008-05-04T18:03:00.000+02:00

a good one to share =)

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea
And only two of the men on it were able
To swim to a small, desert like island.
The two survivors, not knowing what else to do,
Agree that they had no other recourse
But to pray to God.
However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing the first man prayed for was food.
The next morning, the first man saw
A fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land,
And he was able to eat its fruit.

The other man's parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife.
The next day, another ship was wrecked,
And the only survivor was a woman,
Who swam to his side of the land.

On the other side of the island,
There was nothing.

Soon the first man prayed for a house,
Clothes, more food.
The next day, like magic,
All of these were given to him.

However, The second man still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship,
So that his wife and he could leave the island.
In the morning, he found a ship docked
At his side of the island.

The first man boarded the ship with his wife
And decided to leave the second man on the island.
He considered the other man unworthy
To receive God's blessings,
Since none of his prayers had been answered.

As the ship was about to leave,
The first man heard a voice from Heaven booming,
"Why are you leaving your companion on the island?"

"My blessings are mine alone,
Since I was the one who prayed for them,"
The first man answered.
"His prayers were all unanswered,
And so he does not deserve anything."

"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him.
"He had only one prayer, which I answered.
If not for that, you would not have
Received any of my blessings."

"Tell me," the first man asked the voice,
"what did he pray for that I
Should owe him anything?"

"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."

For all we know, our blessings are not
The fruits of our prayers alone,
But those of another praying for us.
Always remember to pray for others who
are in need.
For :
Friends n friends' familes
People on the road side
People who are rendered homeless due to natural calamities
People who are in their death beds
People who have lost their dear ones
People who are protecting our country in the borders
Prisoners
People who are trying to quit bad friends and addicted habits
And anyone who is need of our prayers...

broaden

2008-05-04T17:55:00.004+02:00

the internet has definitely redefined the meaning of information sharing and circulation~

never in history have information been able to travel so quickly and so widely in just a short period of time...

*just doing some random typing..before I continue reading about genes and stuff*

anyway with information so readily available...it really opens up a whole new world of things...broadens our horizon...increases our knowledge...increase the number of perceptions known...

thoughts inspired by: (fwd email)
-carved from soap-

reflections

2008-05-04T00:49:00.003+02:00

-josh groban: your song (moulin rouge)- playing on my laptop

Gamma camera schematic --> Drug Delivery System
Tue: exams commence

reflections off the glass window
memories forged
a picture to capture the moment

would this be it?

i hope you don't mind that i put it in words...*trails off*

blockade...

2008-05-03T12:13:00.002+02:00

a picture from: in the train towards Island of Cumbrae

of all days....

today i woke up at 9:30am..bright and early (well at least in my opinion~)

planned to be in the library by 10:30am
did my stuff..off i went...

i saw blue tape...taping the whole entrance....i thought they might leave a gap for me to passage through....a policewomen was standing there...

i went closer...took a look...there's no gap..how am i suppose to get in??
than the policewoman greeted me...sorry we've fenced up the place....the whole access to the library...bla bla bla bla bla....i was like....and there's no other way to get in?
nope...sorry about that...

ka-dish....

text my study buddy...and turned around...and walked home.....
how am i suppose to study at home?...see i'm suppose to be studying...and here i am now blogging....my room is highly not conducive to study during the day....but at night...you can study....just during the day it's problematic....too much distraction....it's DAY i should be doing something else other than studying...that's what my brain thinks -_-

Al said that...just think about 3 more days till finals and you'll study.....
maybe that's not working for my brain ....

so a savior is needed....i shall head to my buddy's place to study ^^
gotta wait awhile more before i head out...

dear lord! grace is needed....
help me to study today!!~

from 10:50am till now...i'm still on the first half of the page.....

btw...can you imagine...just 18more days or so...till i'm done with uni!!??!!?!?!

current setting

2008-04-30T15:39:00.004+02:00

-living life in the library-

smooth black mac with a glowing white apple

wooden table with 6 chairs, 3 at each side

papers all about the table..but not too messy

a sliver sony vaio opposite me

a bright pink packet of Wrigley's Extra: strawberry flavor (flew all the way from Hong Kong = thanks to my pal =)

fossil watch, ring, bangles sitting on my right

Biopharmacy 5 opened right before me

test pads written

more than occasional crazy laughters

2 hours later

papers sprawled all over the table
hair ruffled
boredom sets in
argghhhhhhhh

XD

breathes...just a few more weeks...just a few more weeks

inverness

2008-04-22T02:07:00.006+02:00

the 3 sisters, Glencoe, Scotland

I had one of the best trips ever to the Highlands.
Was away for the weekend =) on the 4th - 6th April 2008.
Basically stayed in Inverness and than went around to loads of places...met the most amazing people and some turned into buddies =D

life long bonds were forged...

loads of amazing pictures and lots of crazy laughters!!!
a wacky bunch of mates + wacky fionna tan = complete wacky-ness!!

we compliment each other so well...that I'm amazed!! haha our cheeky-ness and wacky-ness just fueled each others traits =D

just one of the wacky stuff that we did~

the tree idea was brilliant!! climbed loads of trees and took lots of photos...had a whole great deal of laughter!! I bumped my head on this tree and one of my mates fell of a tree and we were all in stitches!! ahh the brilliant idea was instigated none other than myself! haha

a rare decent photo!!

loved the trees XD

info 4 juniors

2008-04-21T01:11:00.002+02:00

Questions posted by ka keat. Will post up reply soon...
mates feel free to post your answers in as well =D

wanna ask several questions for our preparation to Strathclyde:
1. do we need to bring over any certificates or any photostated certified copies of them??
2. If yes, which certs specifically & what do we need them for??

3. pillows & mattress will be provided rite? i plan to bring a set of pillow case & bed sheet over..is the dimension for both these items the same with those we can find here in Malaysia??

4. duvet cover seems to be to bulky & heavy for me...so i'm not bringing over any..ok rite??

5. if i wanna bring dry food like those herb packets & dried mushrooms...is it advisable to keep them in my checked-in luggage?? or is it better if i put in hand luggage? will the personnel ask me to take out to check?

6. for working purpose, how many sets of white/black shirts i need ar? is it ok if i buy over there? or shud i bring 1 or 2 over?
7. I've a bow tie too...do i need them??

8. U mentioned in ur notes given to us early this sem that we need Vitamin C?? why ar?? food there lacks vitamin C ar??
9. then how much vitamin C do u suggest us to bring? we cant possibly get 1 year supply to bring over wor....

Your questions are pretty valid in my opinion...since I recall asking silly stupid Qs before I came here as well...haha

- no certs required even if it's for work...just depends what kinda work you're getting ..most of my batch mates are in catering...so they hire temp staff

- i didn't bring any and just took over from the seniors..but it's good that if you bring one set over as well XD advisable even by me...don't bother with duvet covers you can just buy them here...it might be cheaper back home but here got better designs I think =)

- bed same size...although a bit small for my liking...sigh..i used to have a queen size bed..not i got only a fraction of a bed! -_-

- any food stuff place it in the check-in luggage..easier

- you just need 1 cukup d la of working clothes...don't forget you need a set of formal clothes for PP3 and than for graduation ball...or you can opt to buy them here...I don't think it's that expensive la especially during sale

- Vit C for your immune system...cause your body is adapting to the environment and you're gonna be stressed out...so just bring a bottle or two...than you can buy them here...

any Qs....just feel free to drop me an email and I'll post it up here..so that other seniors can reply to it as well =)

enjoy your hospital attachments!!! Esp the ones in Seremban!! If you are staying there...siok go for midnight movie!! haha

juniors don't forget that your seniors will be graduating!~ Getting them a present will be pretty good =D

ahem ahem

haha

ages

2008-04-18T00:05:00.002+02:00

ahhh once again...fionna tan is back

whole lot's been going on =D

enjoying my life while mugging away with books~

grabbing the remainder of my time with my mates here....as the academic year comes to an end...friends are leaving...bonds have been forged...laughters shared....much have pass

i had a superb random night today....from the humble number of 3 increased 3 folds to 9

another random dinner with brilliant laughters and oh so interesting food XD

life oh life~

blind

2008-04-08T17:24:00.000+02:00

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were u the one who changed my sign this morning? What did u write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what u said but in a
different way."
What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day & I cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign & the second sign were saying the same thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first
sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:

Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think
differently and positively. Invite the people towards good with
wisdom.

Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.
When Life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.

Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Keep the faith and drop the fear.
Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs.
Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.

BACK!!!

2008-04-08T14:39:00.002+02:00

after 2 weeks of living in another world...Fionna Tan is BACK!!!!

dissertation nearly caused me my life! and the end product was shite -_-
this is where I say good bye to my distinction and merit and hello pass *full stop*

anyways I had one of the wackiest trip ever in the weekend!!!! muwahahaha never been so cheeky in my entire life for ONE WHOLE WEEKEND!!

I was up in the highlands and was staying in Inverness ...a superb house that we got..and a whole bunch of wacky playmates!!! Visited loads of places...took lots n lots of pictures...as usual my camera hardly contains any human elements =p

I'll put up some pictures later on ^^

thank God for the superb weather...we were always heading towards the sunshine but occasionally got caught in the snow XD
oh by the way...it's SPRING and yea it's SNOWING!!

mmm I got some really really really GOOD pictures!! haha

my playing has just begun!!! muwahahaha...oops I'm suppose to be studying for finals...sigh..oh well can't be bothered just yet ..hahaha

oh a story to read =)

*_SPECIALGROCERY LIST_*

*Louise Redden, a poorly dressed lady with a look of defeat on her
face, walked into a grocery store. *
*
She approached the owner of the store in a most humble manner and
asked if he would let her charge a few groceries.

She softly explained that her husband was very ill and unable to
work, they had seven children and they needed food.

John Longhouse, the grocer, scoffed at her and requested that she
leave his store at once.

Visualizing the family needs, she said: "Please, sir! I will bring
you the money just as
soon as I can."

John told her he could not give her credit, since she did not have a
charge account at his store.

Standing beside the counter was a customer who overheard the
conversation between the two. The customer walked forward and told
the grocer that he would stand good for whatever she needed for her
family.
The grocer said in a very reluctant voice, "Do you have a grocery
list?"

Louise replied, "Yes sir." "O.K" he said, "put your grocery list on
the scales and whatever your grocery list weighs, I will give you
that amount in groceries."

Louise, hesitated a moment with a bowed head, then she reached into
her purse and took out a piece of paper and scribbled something on
it. She then laid the piece of paper on the scale carefully with her
head still bowed.

The eyes of the grocer and the customer showed amazement when the
scales went down and stayed down.

The grocer, staring at the scales, turned slowly to the customer and
said begrudgingly, "I can't believe it."

The customer smiled and the grocer started putting the groceries on
the other side of the scales. The scale did not balance so he
continued to put more and more groceries on them until the scales
would hold no more.

The grocer stood there in utter disgust. Finally, he grabbed the
piece of paper from the scales and looked at it with greater amazement.

It was not a grocery list, it was a prayer, which said:
**
"Dear Lord, you know my needs and I am leaving this in your hands."** **

The grocer gave her the groceries that he had gathered and stood in
stunned silence.

Louise thanked him and left the store.
The other customer handed a fifty-dollar bill to the grocer and said;

"It was worth every penny of it. Only God Knows how much a prayer
weighs."

THE POWER OF PRAYER: When you receive this, say a prayer. That's
all you have to do.

Just stop right now, and say a prayer of thanks for your own good
fortune.
Then please send this to all your friends and relatives.

I believe if you will send this testimony out with prayer in faith,
you will receive what you need God to do in your and your families'
life *.
*
So dear heart, trust God to heal the sick, provide food for the
hungry, clothes and shelter for those that don't have as we do. Amen
& Amen**_

_**
There is no cost but a lot of rewards.
May you always walk with Angels
God Bless!*

extremities

2008-04-03T04:23:00.003+02:00

today shall be my last day of staying up...not by choice but simply cause I need to hand up this dissertation (can't believe my bro actually turned the word into --> dessert tasting paper haha) on Fri so Thu which is today shall be my last...and I'm done with Uni assignments FOR LIFE!

i'd suppose i'm bound to miss it sometime...but not anytime soon XD

extremities in life are never good...you're tipping the balance...and in life there must always be a balance...eat too much of carrots and you'll turn yellow...

today or rather yesterday (today to me..becoz as long as i haven't sleep the day is not complete) I've got quite a few enquiries...
some were anticipated
some were shocking
some were so-so
some were more than welcomed

within 3 days 2 extremities landed...
it's true what my pastor told me, life is simple when you just follow God's way..it only gets complicated when you want your way

ahh i know how complicated life can be...or so it appears and feels...been there, done that...and after having a tug-of-war...it's best to just do it God's way =)

there are lots of things that i don't know in life...but it's always the simplicity in it that i enjoy most =)

having a laugh with a wacky buddy in which you know you won't recall what was the laughter all about
seeing someone smile at you
seeing a baby laugh because you made him/her laugh
saying whoo hooo
being with buddies
being with family
and etc etc etc (i can't think up of anything for now..haha)

oh btw I got my new watch!!! whooo hoooo
Fossil =D
the one I've eyed and like
dark brown leather..super cool ..haha
post up a picture next time ^^
btw much appreciated Al for driving me there haha

sacrifice

2008-04-02T06:30:00.000+02:00

coming towards the end of uni life

2008-04-01T18:05:00.004+02:00

well...this week is my last week for my research project...and heck i'm way far from finishing... XD

haha alicia was saying, I've never been so last minute before in my entire uni life ....me? haha quite the less opposite...simply because there's just so much life to do apart from Uni =p

anyway it's not that i want to be so last minute at times....there are days in which i've sat down and nothing moves....so it's not my fault XD

unworthy tears of stress and frustration
nonsensical headaches which forces me to turn in
mental blockages which can't be accepted
tireless eye movements
over-clocking of body system

this is my work dock cum mac dock cum my life

ok this look pretty sad...haha...but normally it would look way better XD...and yes my breakfast lunch dinner tea = a red packet of biscuits ...oh wait there's more just for today

haha yup that's life ^^
smoky cheddar cheese and red wine =D

nice touch to a highly stress induced life?....haha...well well....back to enjoying.................*grins* just a lil while more ..and I'll be fine

can't agree more

2008-04-01T18:03:00.000+02:00

just something if u're too bored with what you are doing ^^

*/Why can't we build more universities? We spent RM100 million to
celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Merdeka last August. That is one
university complete with equipment, fittings, libraries, and whatnot. We
spend RM300 million a year on the Terengganu Monsoon Cup. That would be
another three universities a year./*
*
NO HOLDS BARRED*
/
Raja Petra Kamarudin/
More than 50 years or so ago, when I was still a baby, my mother weaned
me off my bottle in quite a shattering manner, literally-speaking of
course. After I finished drinking my milk, I would hurl the bottle over
the cot and it would go crashing to the floor and shatter into a million
pieces. In those days, milk bottles were made of glass, not of plastic
like nowadays. Plastic technology, then, was not as advanced as today so
bottles were made of glass -- and tins from tin, tyres from rubber, car
dashboards from wood, and so on. Today, of course, nothing is original
any longer and most products are manufactured from synthetic materials.
Even 'wooden' car dashboards and faces of certain Menteri Besar are made
from plastic.

The cost to replace my bottles was certainly pretty exorbitant and
eventually it became cheaper to carpet the entire room to cushion the
bottles when they came crashing to the floor. One day, however, my
mother removed the carpet and when I threw my bottle out of my cot it
hit the floor and smashed into smithereens. My mother stormed into the
room and raised quite a ruckus. "That's it," she said, "now you have no
more bottle. You will have to drink from a cup from now on."

When it came time for my next milk routine, my mother brought my drink
in a cup and I of course refused to drink it out of a cup. I wanted my
bottle. My mother then reminded me that I had just smashed my bottle
that very morning so I would now have to drink out of a cup or else no
milk for me. It was either a cup or no milk so I reluctantly agreed to
the cup. It was I, after all, who had smashed my bottle so I really had
no one else to blame except myself. Eventually the cup became second
nature until I discovered that there are certain drinks that are best
drunk straight from a bottle. But that would be another story for
another time though.

When my wife and I got our first baby, the deal was: she had carried our
daughter for nine long months so it was now my turn to suffer -- I had
to wake up at 3.00am to feed the baby. The first week was very tiring
and I went to office the following day feeling very groggy. The second
week, however, I filled the bottle with plain water and after three days
or so my daughter no longer woke up in the middle of the night. She
probably did not find it remunerating enough to wake up just for a drink
of plain water.

There is currently quite a bit of brouhaha about the continuation of the
New Economic Policy or NEP. Even 'progressive' Malays like Shahrir
Samad, surprisingly, are of the opinion that the NEP must be retained
because the Malays are not yet ready for the removal of their 'security
blanket'. I suppose, as long as you still bottle-feed the Malays, they
would continue to demand it. But once the bottle is smashed or you feed
them plain water, they may decide to move on and not keep clinging to
their baby ways.

There are two things about the NEP. One concerns education and the other
business opportunities. The education part is actually not as complex as
what some make it out to be. Sure, there are certain quotas allocated to
Malays while non-Malays are given a token quota. And because of the
limited places in local universities, the non-Malays have to pay for
their own education, in particular at overseas universities.

But does this need to be so? China has more than 1,000 universities with
more than 100 in Beijing alone. Malaysia, which has only twice the
population of Beijing, does not even come close to the number of Beijing
universities. Based on the Beijing population to number of universities
ratio, Malaysia should have at least 250 universities as opposed to less
than 10% that at the present moment.

Why can't we build more universities? We spent RM100 million to
celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Merdeka last August. That is one
university complete with equipment, fittings, libraries, and whatnot. We
spend RM300 million a year on the Terengganu Monsoon Cup. That would be
another three universities a year. We are spending more than RM3 billion
on the second Penang bridge. That would be about 35 universities. With
savings from this, that and the other, we could have 100 new
universities built over 10 years.

Yes, we do have money. It is only that the money is spent on the wrong
things. According to Umno circles, Daim Zainuddin has transferred RM42
billion of our taxpayers' money out of the country and has sunk this
colossal amount into about ten banks that he owns in Africa and Eastern
Europe. That RM42 billion plus all the other money that has disappeared
into the pockets of Umno cronies could have built 1,000 universities, as
many as they have in China though our population is just twice that of
Beijing.

If our money had been well-managed and better-spent, today we would have
more universities than students. We would be begging Malaysians to go to
university because most of the lecture halls would be empty. Who would
need the NEP? There would be no need for racial quotas. Our problem
would not be about limiting places in universities so that these places
could be reserved for Malays. Our problem would be about how to convince
non-Malays to stop going overseas and instead go to local universities
because there are just not enough students for the too many universities.

But the reality of the situation is, our money has been wasted. Billions
have disappeared into the pockets of Umno warlords and their cronies.
Billions have been spent on the wrong things. I have estimated that,
over 30 years, Petronas has earned about RM1 trillion. One Petronas
consultant tells me that I am wrong. The figure should be RM2 trillion,
he says. RM1 trillion or RM2 trillion what's the difference? Both
figures are equally exorbitant.

If just part of that money had gone into building one new university a
year, today Malaysia would have no less than 50 universities. They could
have even built 100 universities over 30 years with RM2 trillion. And we
would then no longer need to reserve places in these universities. We
would no longer require racial quotas. And this means we would no longer
need the NEP.

The NEP started in 1970 and has gone on for 38 years now. We started
earning petroleum revenue in 1974 and have continued earning for 34
years now. But the petroleum money did not go into addressing what ails
this country. And soon this petroleum money will dry up but what ails us
will remain. We missed a golden opportunity to resolve our race problems
with the income from the black gold. But we did not. And because of that
we still need the NEP because, without the NEP, Malays would not have
places in local universities.

The NEP is not just about education or places in universities, some
would say. It is also about business opportunities. Sure, but is that an
excuse not to solve at least half the problem; racial quotas in
universities. If we solve one problem then we will have only one problem
left to solve. Now, after 38 years, we still have two unresolved
problems, and both involve race and racial quotas.

Okay, say that the government had solved the problem of racial quotas in
local universities by building so many universities that there are no
longer enough students, Malays or otherwise, to fill them up. This would
still not solve the second problem of creating more business
opportunities for Malays, many would argue. Actually this is not quite
true. Malays have been in business since before 1969 and these Malays
were actually very successful in their time.

Take Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's ex-father-in-law as one example. Mahmud
Ambak was a very successful businessman, as were his peers such as
Safuan, Mat Jan, HM Shah, and so on. No doubt there was only a handful
of such people and you could count them on your fingers of one hand. But
the numbers were beginning to grow and, in the East Coast, the Malays
were involved in all types of businesses and were even beating the
non-Malays on top of that.

Then came the NEP and with it came the quotas and Umnoputeras.
Eventually the rent-seekers and commission agents monopolised the scene.
Furthermore, you had to be an Umno warlord to obtain businesses,
contracts and quotas -- so eventually your Umno membership and not your
business acumen decided whether you got ahead or not. The genuine
businessmen soon folded up and the Ali Babas; Umno Malays backed by
Chinese towkays; took over. And what we see today are products of the
NEP rather than genuine businessmen who made it because they are good in
business.

The NEP killed the 'real' Malays. In their place emerged the
Umnoputeras. Without the NEP and with a level playing field, Malays
would have made it -- but only the good Malays, not the commission
agents. Granted, without the NEP, there would have been fewer Malays in
business. But these few Malays would have been the quality Malays. Now
we have the 'low-class' Malays who made it only because they are
Umnoputeras and for no other reason. Why play the numbers game? Why go
for quantity without quality? Would it not have been better to see the
birth of the Robert Kuoks, Queks and Tan Chin Tuans of the Malay
community, people we could be proud of?

To say that the Malays would never reach the level of the Robert Kuoks,
Queks and Tan Chin Tuans without the help of the NEP is an insult to the
Malays. I, for one, believe I can make it with or without the NEP. To
say I am who I am because of the NEP and that I would be nothing if not
for the NEP is a great insult and I take it as an insult. I believe that
without the NEP and without the unfair advantage given to the
Umnoputeras there would be no 'ceiling' above my head and the sky would
be my limit.

But alas, I need to be Umno to get ahead and I need to be an Umnoputera
to get my hands on quotas, contracts and permits to make it in the
business world. It is not a level playing field and unless I am prepared
to play the game according to the rules of the game then I had better
not bother to play at all.

The NEP is our milk bottle. But eventually we need to grow up and
discard the bottle. We are now 38 years old so surely we should stop
drinking from the bottle by now. But we are still being given the
bottle. And the bottle is in the form of the NEP. And because of that we
are still babies even at 38 years old. And our 'mother' tells us that we
are still going to be given the bottle over the next 50 years. I will
not live another 50 years. I may not even live another ten. But I shall
still be offered the bottle till the day I go to my grave.

Yes, we Malays are going to die as babies. We shall never be allowed to
grow up. We shall never see that bottle go crashing to the ground and
getting smashed into a million pieces. And because we have never be
weaned out of the bottle we shall know no other way in which to drink
our milk. And we will never learn how to eat rice because we do not know
how to grow and cook rice. But one day, when the 'mother' dies, we shall
cry and cry, asking for our milk that will never come. And the baby will
die when the mother dies because the baby knows no other way in which to
feed itself other than waiting for the mother to bring the bottle.

That is the sad future for the Malays. Do you now know why the baby does
not want the mother known as Umno to die? This is because the baby needs
its daily dose of milk which only the mother can provide.

music mix

2008-04-01T12:00:00.002+02:00

good mix of music that aaron has come up with ^^

the first familiar face I saw when I landed
momentarily it feels like I'm home again
the first hug I got when I landed
momentarily it feels like I'm home again
=)

Dreamer - Movie

2008-04-01T11:53:00.002+02:00

Dreamer (March 2008)
Dreams are only meant for the strong to take hold of, to pursue, to achieve.

You are a great champion.
When you ran, the ground shook.
The sky opened, and mere mortals parted.
Parted the way to victory, where you'll meet me in the winner's circle—
and I'll put a blanket of flowers on your back

When you decide to follow your dream, miracles start to happen, the unbelievable starts to occur...when you begin to live your dream, that’s when life really starts to come alive.

Nothing comes easy, no great thing ever occurred in history without a price
It requires hard work, it requires tears, it requires blood, it requires all that you have to run the dream...but to not even try will be a greater sin than not achieving it

home

2008-03-30T18:39:00.004+02:00

fire rainbow = circumhorizon arc

2008-03-30T16:23:00.003+02:00

Daddy sent me a picture of a fire rainbow...and i was like what?
so like every techie baby...i googled it up to find the origins of it...and it's true! (well with photoshop anything and everything is possible)

So I found this photo from TomArgh's blog, looks much nicer than the photo dad sent me

a lil' info of this phenomena called Fire Rainbow aka Circumhorizon Arc

According to the National Weather Service based in US,

A circumhorizon arc is one of the rarest halos one can witness. First. it requires a very high sun angle of approximately 58° or higher. A sun angle this high can only occur at northern latitudes during a small portion of the year centered around the summer solstice. Solar elevations of 58° or higher in Spokane are achieved in a small window beginning in May to the first week in August. Even in this window, the sun angle only exceeds this lofty elevation for a mere hour or so in May and August to around three hours near the summer solstice (June 21st).

But a high sun angle is only part of the recipe. The other ingredient is even more restrictive. This ingredient is a cluster of perfectly aligned (i.e. nearly perpendicular to the sunlight) ice crystals. This alignment allows the light to enter the nearly vertical side of the ice crystal and exit the relatively horizontal bottom of the crystal. The crystals refract the light approximately 46°, resulting in a very pure spectrum of colors and a vivid light display. In the case on June 2nd, we had a layer of cirrus clouds provide the needed ice crystals distribution.

Basically,
degree must be at 58°
clouds: cirrus type
ice crystals perfectly align

OK back to my dissertation...argghhh....it's gonna end soon ^^

Pharmacist in Malaysia $$$$

2008-03-29T09:11:00.002+01:00

informed by: John

Doctors to be disallowed from dispensing medicines

By : Annie Freeda Cruez

Soon only pharmacies will dispense medicines while doctors can only prescribe medication.

KUALA LUMPUR: Soon, doctors will not be allowed to dispense medicines. Doctors will only be allowed to prescribe medications but patients will have to get the medicines from pharmacies.

Currently, doctors diagnose the disease, prescribe the medicines and their own clinics dispense them.

For almost 20 years, pharmacists have been fighting for the "return" of their right to dispense medications but had been unsuccessful for various reasons.

A pilot project on the separation of functions between doctors' clinics and pharmacies will be launched by the Ministry of Health.

It is scheduled to be launched at selected major towns with the ministry closely monitoring the strength and weaknesses of the system before implementing it nationwide.
Director-General of Health Tan Sri Dr Ismail Merican said the ministry was not able to implement this system earlier due to logistics problems, especially the shortage of pharmacists and pharmacies in the country.

"We also have to take into consideration the welfare of patients. If we have the separation, then patients must have easy accessibility to pharmacies to get their prescribed medications," he told the New Straits Times.

He said the ministry had conducted a detailed study, "Pharmacy and clinic Mapping" on various issues ranging from welfare of patients, facilities available and capability of pharmacies to meet the demand.

"We found that the logistics problem is still an issue and needs to be resolved as we do not want patients to be running around looking for pharmacies with the doctors' prescriptions," said Dr Ismail.

Furthermore, he said, the pharmacies should be able to provide quality care.

He said the ministry had been doing the study with various stakeholders, focusing on the spread of community pharmacies or pharmacy outlets in major towns, rural and remote areas.

Some 5,000 registered pharmacists are actively practising in some 1,600 pharmacies nationwide.

In 2004, there were only 3,927 registered pharmacists with about 1,540 retail pharmacies or one for every 16,445 persons.

Dr Ismail said the pilot project would be implemented in major towns based on the study where there were pharmacies near clinics.

"If the pilot project is successful, we will have to look into the existing laws to allow for the separation," he added.

India, South Korea and Taiwan have implemented the separation. Malaysian Pharmaceutical Society president John Chang Chiew Pheng said the ministry's move to conduct a pilot project was definitely a positive development which would enhance the level of healthcare delivery.

The separation, he added, would benefit patients as doctors could now focus on their clinical, diagnosing, counselling and prescription, while pharmacists could focus on educating patients on how best to optimise the usage of medicines prescribed.

Furthermore, Chang said, pharmacists could help patients choose between generic and branded drugs based on their financial situation.

"With commitment and determination we can overcome teething problems and patients can understand their medicines," he added.

He said if the government went ahead with the separation, then more pharmacies could be set up near clinics for easy accessibility to patients.

Prospects look pretty good for us ^^
Current payrate: around RM4k after EPF RM3.6k with a RM100 increment each year

reality ^^

2008-03-29T08:20:00.003+01:00

well this post is related to the previous post Class Photo, since my buddy posted a comment on it...I might as well post up a blog on the reason of my reply ^^

hmm...although i didn't really fancy much the first photo wasn't simply cause i wasn't in it...but more towards that.....
so this shall be my thought trigger of what i've learned and gone through

whatever you do in life echoes through eternity

see a lot of people just tend to look at the surface of things that occurs simply because we are humans...we can't see through the hearts of man, only God can see through the hearts of man. we tend to judge by what we see most of the time and not by what we know. thus we assume a lot and we only know a little.

when you do good, others think that you have other intentions

we live in such a time where we always think that other people have other intentions apart from good....fortunately or unfortunately i happen to be naive most of the time, thinking of the good of people and forsaking the bad

welp...enough of my gibbering, for those who understands understands for those who don't don't

the photo of the first one (read the other post) contradicts my personality of love-being-in-the-centre-of-attention but represents the reality of what i do in my life, all across the board

but let's talk about this photo = this are of my life in which i have spent in on = Uni life

like i've said, the first photo contradicts my personality but represents my entire life in Uni of why i do the things i do

i've got a few batchmates that have asked me, why trouble yourself doing all these things?? Should just do it for yourself..
MK also stated to me before, Fionna you are doing too much for these people
some of my mates told me before, you bring on trouble and work upon yourself..since i go round complaining/moaning to them haha...i am just simply the type where i like to speak my mind out...i don't fancy keeping things in my head be it good or bad...and of course i only do that to friends in whom i trust...because they know me enough that i just need to keep my head straight by doing just that

most of the time..i just jokingly reply them..or don't at all

well my reasons are simple....to gain fame

haha =p

but if you've known me well enough...that wouldn't be the answer since i don't claim any 'glory' to my own name and i make it a point not to either...although i tease my mates with it ^^

i simply do it because i believe that the strong should help the weak...since i'm capable of it why not?
i simply do it because i believe it is worth doing for them...since some I call my friends and some are my batchmates
i simply do it because i believe in doing to others what you want others to do to you
i simply do it because i want to
i simply do it because i care
i simply do it because i have the betterment of everyone in mind
i simply do it because i like seeing people happy
i simply do it because Jesus told me to love everyone

are there times when i get frustrated?
of course...since i've already done so much yet people still expects more even when i don't have to do it and i'm doing it out of my freewill
of course...since sometimes what i do doesn't seem enough and not even some appreciation but worst got criticized instead

but hey..it's part of life...it's part of growing up...
in life you'll meet all kinds of people...and you just can't let everyone affect or dictate your life...
life is all about choices
you can't choose the situations but you can always choose your reactions =)

i just get better at what i'm doing
given the avenue to do something
being entrust to do something
given the opportunity to change someone's life for the better

at the end of it all...it's all about the people....i'm in the people business...and people matters....
so it's worth it =)

He too thought it was worth it when on the wooden cross He was nailed
Knowingly some would reject Him
Knowingly some would scorn at Him
Knowingly some would accept Him
Knowingly some would love Him
Obedience to the cross
He bought me my eternal life
He gave me hope
He gave me a second chance
And in return just for Him, anything and everything is worth it

kitchen fire~

2008-03-26T21:34:00.004+01:00

well....since all of us are forced to go into the kitchens now...and soon enough when we get our own homes....we have no choice but to stay in the kitchen longer....goes the same for males

this clip could prove handy on how to put off a kitchen fire ...anything that is started by oil = never pour water on it

recalling the scene where...alicia and pf was in the kitchen...alicia placed her curry puffs in the grill...and when she opened it...it was on fire...haha pretty funny though...and than she was like call Fionna....pf didn't want to open the door coz it might just trigger the fire alarm...so alicia blew the fire out!~ lol she will definitely have enough breath to blow off 100 candles XD

today..is a rainy day....rained the whole day...just like back home when it was the monsoon season...only thing is...it doesn't flood around here and they don't have thunderstorms or lighting as well

at last..tonight i'm gonna be done with introduction..just left back the last part...and than moving on to methods and results and discussion.....*faints*

P105: PP3

2008-03-26T15:21:00.003+01:00

heya mates

as all of us are working our bums of doing the write-up...all d best...just a few more days...hang in there....no matter what ..we shall finish it!! *thinks: how to finish man..this is crazeee* hehe

anyway i've taken the liberty to email the mpharm co-ordinator ...as i was attending the student staff meeting earlier on...and talked to carol about PP3...so below is an excerpt of what i wrote...if u all have any queries and want to email him personally...go ahead =)

one of the most annoying dumb subjects ever...and i have to resit it in May -_-

On behalf of the students, I would like to bring up to your attention regarding the course subject, Pharmacy Practice 3 (PP3).

As you would already know that the passing rate for the recent PP3 resit in January was at the bare minimum. Although the pass/fail status have yet to be finalized by the board of examiners, we do hope that in the event that students fail, a session to fully prepare the students for the next resit be scheduled. And the session should cover all aspects of the exams. Even though we have learned it before, do give us the benefit of doubt that it has been quite awhile since we practice it, furthermore most of us do not have any prior exposure to a pharmacy setting and the daily dealings of it.
We do hope that a standardized marking scheme be given to us as well, so that we know exactly what we ought to do or not to do. As this would definitely help us pass.

Some comments on the subject, in our opinions, the reason why the failure rate is so high in this subject is due to the fact that, there is no standardized teaching throughout the tutorials. As different pharmacist/lecturers would come in, each of them have their own opinion on what can be done and deemed acceptable. Plus there is not a proper protocol in which everyone adheres to. Although there is a one to one feedback, this is done when all the students do a prescription and approach the pharmacist to get it mark. In role play fashion.
This is where the discrepancies come in, most of the times students are told different things by different pharmacist and on different occasion.

It is quite evident from the passing rate, that there are some issues in this subject.

Another thing that I would like to bring up, prior to our resit in January, some of the IMU students did make a request to use the PP3 labs to run through certain prescriptions but they were not allowed to. Apparently some of the home students were allowed to do so.

We do hope that you will take this matter into much consideration.

class photo

2008-03-26T05:14:00.002+01:00

welp thanks to Wei Meng who put in the effort to edit our class photo =D

and than I should thank myself for snapping the photo...see the empty spot right there in the front? pretty well made sure that, that is my spot =D

and of course I had to be in it =p so my name would do...the infamous fioNNa tan with the double N ;)

oats...

2008-03-26T01:17:00.004+01:00

it's past midnight now...and i'm sitting here doing my research project....but than i got hungry...so i decided to try out some oats....i never liked eating porridge oats...it's only for sick ppl..and even whn i'm sick i don't eat oats....

must be this whole brain cells got fried process that suddenly i wanted to try out oats -_-

officially...for fionna tan...oats will be out of my menu....it only exits in cookies and cakes and desserts....but not as a porridge....i don't even know how i spooned half a bowl into my mouth...and now it's yuck XD

well...it smells nice though..coz i added in milo...sugar...honey...cinnamon..peanut butter..but there's still something lacking in it...probably it's the sweet condensed milk.....

but than again..maybe it's not too bad after.....but definitely i'll go for a roti canai or cheese naan anytime =p

oh well....i'm gonna stay up all night..so i need to have food in me......with my brain steaming out smoke every now and than...and suddenly mr. ache knocks on my brain loudly...which is not helping at all....every now and than...my brain freezes....

and i'm like ...nyam nyam nyam yuck yuck....on the oats......

well well...don't worry....just a few more days...and i'll be sane again...soon enough...soon enough

welp this will just have to be my snack for the nite..

oh btw...i've come to the point where i'm like don't-care-just-wanna-pass-get-this-done-with-and-over

hmph~

loving country

2008-03-24T23:54:00.000+01:00

rascal flatts: cool. i like country.

History

2008-03-24T07:54:00.003+01:00

I've grew up learning history and have ever since had a fond for it until secondary school...where they had us learning all kinds of nonsense giving history a bad name in my memory..

College came in..and I took on World History...which fascinated me but I'm bad with dates...so it's kinda tough to score in it...however a wide reading and logical argument cuts me the grade ^^

anyway I'm studying this book called Jeremiah...it's all about this guy called Jeremiah that lived centuries and centuries and centuries and ages ago

first off, it's a pretty gloomy story...and I was like ...what else is new...so I searched for a bit about this guy and found this 2 podcast about it...it's pretty good...so I'm gonna ease the task of another searcher who's intrigue by this guy called Jeremiah..and post it here =)

You can learn from Jeremiah a whole lot of stuff
Part One
Part Two

Jeremiah the prophet by Michelangelo

History only repeats itself if we allow it

no more lectures!!

2008-03-23T21:11:00.002+01:00

well...just to announce tht i'm officially done with all my lectures!!!!!!
no more workshops, tutorials, lectures and whatever knots!~

3 years and 3 months have gone by and I'm in my final semester of my undergrad masters =)

happy and eager yet i've already miss the life back in IMU and no doubt will miss my uni days in Glasgow as well =)

it was a heck of a roller-coaster ride!~ But nonetheless a great one =D

we took our a picture on the last day of lectures and the next last one will be the day we all graduate together...imagine that! Fionna Tan is actually going to graduate from med school with a master's of pharmacy =)
oh did i ever mention i was like in the naughtiest and nosiest and worst class when i was in primary school? ....red was the color that brighten up my report card ^^

well well....i'm gonna be a graduate soon enough

eager and excited and the whole prospects of a new chapter of life that awaits me and of course the dash of anxiousness and doubt and worry do come along now and than =) i am human after all

below is a video that one of my batchmates did, we played it on our last day of lectures before we took the pictures...a great video!!!

btw P105-ers, do join in facebook the P105 group so that we can stay connected...and you can join in bebo to connect with the home students...most of them are on bebo...look me up at both accounts and you can link up with the rest =)

P105 rocks!~

timing timing timing

2008-03-22T23:49:00.002+01:00

Trust His Timing, by Tom Norvell

One of the features of my new mobile phone is a clock that allows me to
see the time in multiple time zones, set an alarm, use a stopwatch, and
time an event. When I take a walk, I usually set the timer for about
fifteen minutes short of the length of time I want to walk. That way, I
can decide the route for the last part of the walk. For instance, if I
plan to walk for an hour, I will set the time on my phone for 45
minutes. Invariably, I will check the timer a number of times before
the alarm sounds.

Is this thing working?

Did it sound and I did not hear it?

Has something malfunctioned?

Thus far, the alarm has never failed to work. I have never walked an
extra hour by accident. The device has never failed to perform as it is
designed to do. Yet, I still have a feeling of distrust in the clock.

The same thing happens as I walk through life, trying to live on God's
time-table.

I have read the instructions from His word about trusting Him. I am
listening to God, praying for His will to be done. I believe that He is
working even though I cannot see it. I know that the Father is in
charge. I know that nothing will happen that escapes His view. I know
that He cares for me. I know that the Lord has always dealt, and will
always deal, with me according to His justice and goodness. However,
there are still times when I have difficulty trusting His timing.

I have discovered three realities about trusting His timing.

I have learned that His timing is always right!

First, trusting His timing is sometimes hard. There are times when I
eagerly lay my cares down, but then I decide not to wait for God to
work and pick them back up again. There are other times when my
concerns must be ripped from my hands. My doubts and fears take over:
What if He does not listen? What if He hears the wrong thing? What if
He chooses to act in a way that I do not like? Or worse, what if He
chooses not to act at all? I have swallowed hard when He responded with
"No," and I have laid awake at night wrestling with His answers that
appear to be, "Not now."

Second, trusting His timing is sometimes easy. There are times when
waiting for God to work His plan is easy. Laying my concerns at the
feet of the Lord and leaving them there comes naturally. I have
experienced answered prayer soon after making the request. I receive
his "Yes" with joy and gratitude. I receive His "No" with patience and
trust.

Third, whether easy or difficult: I have learned over life and from His
word, that the Father's timing is always right.

Solomon said it this way:

He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set
eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has
done from beginning to end (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV).

You may be in a waiting time. Waiting for the answer. Waiting for
direction. Waiting for peace. Waiting for hope. Waiting for healing.
Waiting for victory. Doubt and uncertainty may have set in. You may be
left with questions and fears.

Whatever is the focus of your wait, trust His timing ... it is always
right.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

P105: Pharmacy Annual Gathering

2008-03-21T13:17:00.004+01:00

Dear P105-ers,

Our junior from P106, Ka Keat, has instigated an event called Pharmacy Annual Gathering back in IMU on the 31st March 08.
P107 and B106, will be organizing this event. They have invited us to be present via live video conferencing.
Event starts at 7:30pm - 10:30pm, as for live video conferencing, it is scheduled be to at 9:00pm Malaysian time.

So for those of you who are keen to be on it, come to my flat at 12:50 noon time. All are invited. Whoever has an extremely long lan cable, let me know, cause I'll be bringing my laptop out to the hall.

Purpose for this event: to foster closer ties between all the batches of pharmacy and also it is a time where the juniors bid their farewell to the seniors =)

It would be fun =D

Date: 31st March 08
Time: 12:50 noon
Venue: Fionna's flat

A Good Year

2008-03-20T20:20:00.002+01:00

A Good Year (Feb. 2008)
How often do you look at the real painting? Things come and go, don’t store up riches and treasures where moth and dust will inhibit and rots it away..

Life is a journey meant to be savored every moment of it. Just like a glass of wine, the uncorking, the pour, the slurping, the gargle in your mouth, every fragrant & taste. Each of it tantalizing your taste buds. That is how life is meant to be savored.

Like every good thing, you must keep it, let it grow. Sometimes, you can for see the future but the future must allow the course to take its on journey. The destination is there, but to journey through, one must not interfere.

What makes a good comedian? TIMING. In every season of life, there is something to be borne, to be grown, to be weeded, to wait.

Henry Skinner, “ You’ll come to see that a man learns nothing from winning. The act of losing, however can elicit great wisdom. Not least of which is, uh... how much more enjoyable it is to win. It’s inevitable to lose now and again. The trick is not to make a habit of it.

today i was thinking

2008-03-20T20:13:00.002+01:00

-thoughts that have been buzzing around-

I've finish reading the Red Book (click to see what's it) and I've found my answer.
A question was once posted to me, how are you going to do that and now I've more or less gotten my answer. =)
Ray Kroc, he's the man!

saving some for some

sometimes...thinking too much will just further complicate things...so just take it as it comes
after all God is in control

hmm...I should post something up for my new label ^^